4
Elijah
Elijah laid backon thechaise in Silas’ office and turned his head to look in Silas’ direction. The room was silent, save for the tick of a clock hanging on the wall. It was nine in the morning, and Elijah wished he wasn’t awake. Adjusting to a normal sleep schedule was proving more difficult than he’d anticipated.
“It’s been a week that you’ve been with us at Stonecrest,” Silas said. Usually he opened their conversation with a casual good morning, then tried to pry his way into Elijah’s mind. Every day so far, Elijah had shut him down. The struggle was tiring. “How do you feel you’re adjusting?”
“I’m not adjusting,” Elijah replied. He yawned and curled up, tucking his knees to his chest. They’d recovered his clothing from The White Lotus, and it was comforting to have something familiar to cling to. The fitted t-shirt and tight jeans Elijah wore highlighted his body without being overly exposing. Today, he wore them strategically. He wanted Silas to look at him, but he didn’t want to make it seem like he was trying too hard. “There’s nothing to adjust to. I’m living here because you won’t let me live anywhere else.”
“This isn’t a prison, you know.” Silas’ gaze locked with his. “You didn’t do anything wrong. What happened to you was an injustice.”
“What happened to me was my choice.” Elijah was tired of hearing it. Silas didn’t treat him like a child, but he parroted the same garbage over and over, as though if he said it enough, Elijah would start to believe it. “I did what I had to do to survive, and I was good at what I did. Keeping me here against my will is an injustice, and I’m pretty sure that makes this place a prison, even if you say it’s not.”
“I want to help you.” Silas frowned. “All of us here want to help you. Don’t you want something more from life? We have the resources you need to set you up for success.”
With a heavy sigh, Elijah picked himself up from the chaise until he was sitting again. Silas watched him carefully, so he made sure to put on a show. Working at The White Lotus had taught Elijah about angles and features, and he knew what men liked about him. If there was one ounce of desire in Silas for him, he’d find it and exploit it.
Elijah stretched upward, elongating his torso to allow his shirt to ride up. Midriff momentarily exposed, he worked one shoulder, then the other, and yawned before settling back onto the seat. When his eyes returned to Silas, he was pleased to find his attempt had been successful. Silas’ gaze flicked up from Elijah’s midriff to look him in the face.
“Do you know what I really want, Silas?” Elijah asked.
“Your freedom,” Silas replied, firm. “You’ve made that clear. Stonecrest has the tools to offer it to you, if only you’d agree to use them.”
“No.” Elijah shook his head. “Right now, what I want isyou.”
His heat was on its way, and no one knew. If Elijah were still under Baylor’s command, Baylor would have already started him on birth control. No one wanted a pregnant omega, and until a week ago, Elijah had detested the thought of bearing children.
Now all he could think about were pretty green-eyed babies.
A family.
Maybe some semblance of stability.
Elijah had lost his world when the police had raided The White Lotus, but he saw another shot at life in Silas. There were worse fates than to end up with a stuffy alpha. Silas was young and attractive, had a career, and by the look of his clothes and the way he furnished his office, Elijah was willing to believe that he had money backing him.
Being kept as a pet wouldn’t be terrible. Raising children felt like a fine compromise if it meant he’d be safe and free. No matter what any of the counselors said, Elijah knew he’d never be happy working an average job, and going back to work as an escort seemed unlikely, given Stonecrest’s firm opposition to the idea. That left him with few options.
Tying himself to Silas was the most palatable of them.
“I’m flattered, but I have to remind you that I’m your counselor.” Silas sat up straighter in his chair, and although his face was stern, his voice faltered. “I’m happy to be with you during your stay here at Stonecrest, but the relationship between us is strictly professional. I’m sorry if I’ve led you to believe otherwise.”
It was a good attempt at a lie. Under regular circumstances, Elijah might not have picked up on it. As it was, he was attuned to Silas—his posture, facial expressions, and energy. Elijah didn’t miss the subtle cues.
Silas wanted him, but he wouldn’t admit it.
“Right.” If Silas wanted to play that game, Elijah would humor him. He could be a good patient if Silas wanted to pretend to be a straight-laced counselor. Soon enough that would change. “I crossed the line. I’m sorry. I guess I’m just having a hard time fitting in. Since I had my first heat, I’ve been with The White Lotus. I don’t know how to go on now that I don’t have it there to back me up.”
“Why don’t we talk about that?” Silas’ concern was genuine, but not overstated. He spoke gently, never overly enthusiastic. No one had listened to Elijah like that before, as if what he had to say mattered.
“Because…” Elijah’s eyes lingered on Silas. Was he stuffy? There was no mistaking it. As stuffy as he was, there was something else inside of him. The desire in his eyes was muted and suppressed, as though he were afraid of it. “Because I think I want a family now. I don’t want to think about the life I had to leave behind.”
Silas responded immediately to his statement, his expression brightening. Elijah couldn’t help but feel pleased with himself. Seeing Silas so pleased made Elijah feelgood. “Why don’t we work toward that? We can set some goals and look at some resources to get you integrated and functioning as a part of society so that you can find someone to settle down with.”
“What can we do to start?”
“Well.” Silas turned his chair toward his desk and took a folder from it. He rooted through papers, skimming their contents. Elijah was fairly certain they were his files. With a shake of his head, Silas tossed them back onto the desk and turned to face Elijah again. “Those are your case file notes. Everything in them? Not important. What I need to know is whoyouare, and I don’t believe what’s written in there can tell me that.”
Elijah’s cheeks burned. He ran his hands down his thighs and cupped his knees, trying to make sense of what Silas had said. It was likely that he was shading the situation with his longing, but Elijah couldn’t help but think that Silas believed he was more than just words on a form—that he was worth more than a paycheck.
