8
Elijah
The streets were busierthanElijah remembered. As smooth concrete gave way to old cobblestone and brick, foot traffic increased. People traveled in packs, loud and inconsiderate. The more of them there were, the more Elijah sought comfort in Silas.
Crowds meant danger. Elijah had never been at liberty in public since he’d emerged as an omega—Baylor kept his employees close, and when he did let them out, it was always with bodyguards.
Traveling with Silas was different.
While Elijah was certain that Silas was muscular beneath his formal clothing, he wasn’t intimidating. He didn’t carry guns, or knives, or brass knuckles. If someone from Elijah’s old life saw him and came over, what was going to happen? Silas was an alpha, but was he strong enough to ward off a real threat?
Elijah shrank against Silas’ side and took hold of his arm, unwilling to be parted. The thought shook him to his core. Elijah had been inexplicably nervous for the last few days, but today he was nothing short of paranoid. Every man who looked his way was a potential threat, and Elijah’s gaze flicked through the crowd, desperate to keep himself safe.
“What’s happening?” Silas asked. They passed by the cafe they’d stopped at the day before, and Elijah longed for the familiarity it brought. The smell of alpha was on the air—and not just Silas. The further they went, the more sure Elijah was that he saw men leering in his direction.
“I don’t feel safe,” Elijah muttered. The quickening of his pulse pounded in his ears. “Can we find somewhere to go sit, please? I’m… I don’t want to keep walking.”
Silas’ shoulders stiffened, and with a tug, he pulled Elijah closer. The proximity put some of Elijah’s fears to rest, but did not relieve them entirely. The shifting crowds and lingering gazes were oppressive. What was happening to him? Crowds had never been an issue, nor the smell of strange alphas. Elijah was strong, and he prided himself on his backbone.
Why now, of all times?
Elijah stumbled on the uneven cobblestone as Silas guided him across the street and through the doors of an Italian restaurant. The scents of fresh baked bread and roasted garlic filled Elijah’s nostrils, and he breathed in as deeply as he could to try to rid himself of the scent of the crowd. Strange alphas. For the first time in his adult life, he was on his own. Baylor wasn’t there to protect him. The structures he knew had been disassembled. The life he’d known was gone. How else was he supposed to react?
The reality of his situation settled into his bones, and Elijah took in a deep breath and pressed his face against Silas’ arm. Silas was the one pillar of stability in his life, and the alpha he wanted, but whom he had no idea how to approach.
“Elijah,” Silas said softly. Under Silas’ guidance, they moved to the side of the lobby where there was seating. Silas’ hands clamped over his shoulders, and when he pushed down, Elijah’s knees buckled. He hit the chair hard. “Elijah, can you focus on me, please?”
“I’m okay,” Elijah muttered. Whatever was wrong with him would pass. It had to pass. He’d never felt this way before. “I still want to do lunch with you. Can we please do lunch?”
It took an exertion of will to lift his gaze, and when Elijah did, he found Silas looked down at him with concern. Sorrow hit Elijah square in the gut, and he pushed himself back against the chair and blinked away tears.
“You’re not supposed to worry about me,” he insisted. “There’s nothing to worry about. I promise, I’m going to be okay. I’m just having a hard time right now.”
“Why don’t we make our way back to Stonecrest?” Silas asked. “Do you think that being somewhere familiar will help?”
The thought of walking through the crowds and passing by all the unknown alphas who roamed in them terrified Elijah. He lowered his gaze and shook his head firmly. “I can’t.”
“What do you need from me right now, Elijah?” Elijah heard the counselor in Silas come out in full force, speaking in calm, soothing tones. All Elijah wanted was for Silas not to worry. It wasn’t right that he was making Silas suffer. The guilt of the crime Elijah had planned against him still poisoned his conscious. “Whatever you need, we’ll do it. I need to see you calm down though, okay?”
“Okay.” Elijah took a deep, rattling breath and exhaled it slowly. Once they made their way back to Stonecrest, he’d ask Silas to take him to the infirmary for treatment. Some of the omegas had been put on anti-anxiety medications. There had to be some that Elijah could use to ease his sudden bout of nerves. While he was there, he could ask the nurse to dose him with birth control and heat suppressants. His heat was due any day now, and he didn’t want it interfering with his treatment, or with Silas’ life. “I really think I’m okay. I’m going to use the bathroom, and then we can get settled to eat. I’ll be right back.”
Like a deer new to the world, Elijah rose on trembling legs. He planted a palm against the wall to brace himself as Silas watched, frowning.
“Do you need me to go with you?” Silas asked.
“No. I promise, I can do this.” Elijah shot him a shaky smile. There was a short hallway leading to the restaurant’s bathroom not even a few feet from where he stood. Using the wall to support himself, Elijah made his way to forward, feeling Silas’ eyes on him as he went.
If he was in luck, he’d be able to enclose himself in one of the tiny stalls and catch his breath. A locked door meant safety, and Elijah could get his head on straight and figure out exactly what was happening to him. Baylor had always told him that if he left, this would happen—outside the familiarity of The White Lotus and his private room, he’d melt under the pressure of the world. Was it a mental breakdown? It had to be… but why hadn’t it happened yesterday? Did thicker crowds make that much of a difference?
Elijah pushed the bathroom door open, eager for some privacy, only to come chest to chest with a man on his way out. Startled, Elijah gasped and jumped back. As the breath hit his lungs, the scent of the man choked in his throat.
Alpha.
Flightier than ever, Elijah dropped his gaze and stepped to the side, hoping he’d be invisible. It wasn’t going to be that easy.
“Hey,” the man in the doorway said, husky. “You’re cute. What are you doing here like this?”
“What do you mean?” Elijah mumbled. He looked down the hall, willing Silas to appear. How long would it take him to get back to the lobby if he sprinted?
