27
HUDSON
Ihop over the boards, claiming a spot on the bench after my shift ends as I fight to catch my breath. Seattle is not messing around, and I’m struggling to keep up. Not only that, but they’re far more aggressive than I remember our last game with them being. Every possession has felt like a complete battle, and I’ve been thrown against the boards more tonight than any other game this season.
I’m struggling, we’re tied, and there’s still five minutes left.
It also doesn’t help that I’m really fucking distracted. It’s been days, and I still haven’t heard anything from the adoption agency regarding Emily’s decision. I finally broke down yesterday and called Holly, who assured me that whenever someone matches with Emily, I’ll be notified so I won’t be left wondering.
I know it’s a huge decision for her, and she’s got her own busy life to work around… but that doesn’t stop me from stressing about what’s taking her so long. Did I mess up something during our meeting? Did she change her mind entirely? I doubt it; she seems very confident in her choices. Still, the anxiety is very real as I await her decision.
So, I’m trying my very best to stay focused on hockey, but again, I’m struggling.
Ollie nudges my shoulder with his from his spot on the crowded bench next to me. “Let’s go out tonight.”
I chuckle dismissively. “No thanks. I’m not in the mood.”
“That’s exactly why we’re going to do it,” he insists. “We don’t need to go out to a bar, we can grab a late dinner, but I’m not going to let you sit alone all night in your hotel room staring at your phone again. A watched pot never boils or whatever.”
Now I actually laugh. “Yeah, alright.”
The rest of the game goes the same way, a whole lot of work with nothing to show for it. We have to go into overtime, as if I wasn’t tired enough, and they manage to psych out Anderson, slipping the puck into our net with only thirty seconds left.
At least we didn’t have to go into a shootout.
Reluctantly, I keep my promise to grab a late dinner with Ollie.
“You’re going to need to do a lot of the talking tonight. Sorry, I’m too drained,” I apologize after we’ve ordered.
“And are you really expecting a call from the adoption agency when it’s after midnight in Chicago?” he teases, pointedly looking at my phone that I just checked again where it’s face up on the table.
“No,” I sigh. “I just hate the uncertainty and all the waiting. I feel like that’s all I’m doing these days.”
“What else are you waiting for?”
“Mostly my house to be ready.”
He gives me a questioning look. “I thought that you liked living with Adrian?”
“I do…” I trail off. As influential as Ollie has been this year on me coming to terms with my feelings for Adrian, I haven’t actually shared them with him, or anyone else. I’m not ashamed that I’m into a man, I just have no idea how things will play out. If I finally make a move, and it doesn’t work out, I’d rather less people know I was rejected. Still, the longer the waiting goes on, the closer I feel to blurting out everything, and it’s probably better that I do it to Ollie than Adrian himself
“But…?” Ollie prompts when I don’t say anything else.
“But… you were right. I want to be with Adrian, and I’ve decided that I should wait to tell him that until we’re no longer roommates.”
His jaw drops open. “Are you fucking kidding me?” I shrug, shaking my head. “Why the hell are you waiting? You’re already living together! You could be hooking up every night and no one would know. Why are you wasting that opportunity?”
“Because I want to do more than ‘hook up’ with him. I think we could be really good together, and I don’t want to rush into things. Adrian deserves better than that.”
Ollie shudders. “God, I didn’t realize you were such a romantic.”
“I’d also like to avoid the awkwardness of still sleeping on the other side of the same wall if he rejects me,” I add.
“Okay, first off, there’s no way Adrian rejects you. Second, sleeping on the other side of the wall sounds hot. Do you ever hear him, ya know?” He raises his eyebrows suggestively.
I immediately think of all the nights I’ve left the door open just a crack, hoping to hear something, hoping he’ll hear me as I jerk off thinking of him.
He’s all I think about these days.
