“Wow, congrats, that’s amazing.”
“Thanks.” She turns her attention to Adrian. “I’m sorry, the agency only gave me Hudson’s profile. Are you a couple?”
Adrian starts cough-choking in response to her question. I’m not sure how I should interpret that… but I’ll have to obsess over it later; this is potentially the most important meeting of my entire life. I step in with a smirk. “No, Adrian is my best friend. He’s here for moral support.”
She nods. “That’s nice. Okay, should we all sit down?” When we’re settled, she smiles right at me. “So, I’ve thought a lot about this meeting and how it should go, and I think the best thing to dois just blurt out all the awkward-but-important information first, and then we can actually chat afterward. Would that work for you?”
I chuckle. “That sounds great. Who should start?”
Emily takes a deep breath. “Me. I think the biggest question you probably have is why I’m interested in adoption, so I’ll start there. I have never wanted to be a mom. Nothing against my own mother, she was amazing, but I’ve just never had that desire. I think every kid deserves to feel wanted, like they’re the most important thing in their parent’s world, and I just don’t think I’m capable of providing that.”
I’m kind of shocked that she’s being so blunt, but I am absolutely loving the honesty.
“Which leads to the next thing. I’m finishing my seventh year of higher education. I still have another year before I start my residency, which is at least another three years depending on what specialty I match with. I don’t think that schedule is ideal for a child to put up with when I have no support, and to be honest, I have no intention of giving up my plan to become a doctor now.”
I’m nodding along, trying not to seem too excited about her interest in adoption and how I might fit in with that.
“This was obviously unplanned, and the father has zero interest in parental rights,” she continues. “But I think that some things happen for a reason, so from the beginning, I knew I wanted to have this child. I just didn’t think I should be the one to raise them.”
“That all makes a lot of sense to me, but you don’t need to justify your choices,” I assure her. “It sounds like you’re doing what you think is best for you and for the baby. That’s all I really want to know.”
She smiles. “And what do you think I should know about you?”
Okay. Moment of truth, I can do this.“Well, I’m thirty-fouryears old, and I’m recently divorced, but more than anything, I’ve always wanted to become a father. To go with the total honesty thing, I’m worried about being a single parent applying for adoption, especially with what you said about not being able to give the child an ideal schedule or the feeling of being the priority. I’m concerned that it’ll scare you away or make you think I’m not the best option to become a father for your child when there’s only one of me, and you might be comparing me to couples, but I think I could be a really great dad.”
I can’t help but look at Adrian as I go to explain his involvement in my decision, and his encouraging smile gives me a confidence boost. “My ex-wife filed for divorce about eight months ago because she didn’t want children. I was far more upset about the idea of losing the future kids I’d wanted us to have than I was about losing her, though. So obviously, we were not meant to be.” That earns a soft laugh from both Adrian and Emily, so I go on in the same light tone, but it does nothing to conceal my nerves.
“I moved in with Adrian while I was house hunting, and he helped me realize that I didn’t need to rush back into dating. I’d been trying to meet someone new to settle down with quickly, hoping to have kids right away. I know becoming a parent is my priority, and I finally realized that I don’t necessarily need a partner to do that. So, I’ve spent the last few months doing everything I needed to in order to qualify to adopt. I’m sure you saw in my profile, but I’m about to retire from the NHL, so I will have plenty of time to dedicate to my family. Even with it being the middle of the hockey season, I’ve been able to complete all the inspections and trainings and paperwork that was required before I could even create a profile. So hopefully you’ll believe me when I say how important this is to me. That I would happily and easily make my child the center of my world.”
Emily is still smiling, but I’m so nervous right now, Ihonestly don’t think I could repeat what I just said. Hopefully it made sense.
“I’m not concerned about you being a single parent,” Emily reassures me, and the anxiety that’s consumed me for months about if anyone could ever think I’m good enough to raise their child, finally eases.
“Thank you.”
“No need to thank me. I was raised by a single parent, and like I said, my mom was amazing. I’d much rather my kid have one great parent than two not-so-great ones.”
I smile fully now. Does that mean she thinks thatIcould be a great parent?
“I have one more thing to get out of the way,” she warns.
“Okay.”
“I feel like I need to admit that I selected your profile mostly because I recognized you.”
“Oh.” My heart sinks. All the anxiety that had been fading moments ago comes rushing back. Meeting fans is always great, but I don’t want someone to match with me because I have a cool career. I want them to think I’ll be the best person to raise their baby.
Still, I force a smile. “Big Werewolves fan?”
“Nope!” she says confidently, completely throwing me off. “I didn’t even know what NHL stood for until I looked it up while reading your profile.”
Okay, that’s definitely not what I was expecting. “So, how did you recognize me?”
“You spoke at a fundraising event last year at the hospital where I was doing clinicals. You talked about your dad having a CVA and how important you think stroke education is in the community. The way you spoke about your parents and your family was really moving. I guess it stuck with me, because when I saw your profile, I instantly recognized you.”
“Wow. What a small world,” I say with a sigh of relief. That’s so much better than her saying she was my waitress once upon a time or recognized me from the dating app or any other potentially awkward scenario that started running through my head when she said she wasn’t into hockey.
I’m trying so hard right now not to read into that chance encounter, to not feel like there was a reason our paths crossed before today. But I desperately want it to mean something. Emily seems really great, and despite every logical part of my brain warning me against it, I can’t help but picture a little toddler version of her running around my house.
