“Hudson, I so, so appreciate it, but you don’t need to do that. Shelby was your wife. That’s totally different.”
“Is it though? We’re living together,” he points out, as though I might have somehow forgotten the most amazing thing that’s ever happened to me. Then he tilts his head and gives me his pleading “come on, do it for me” flirty look and… how do I know what his exact expression means so well?
“He’s already cooking for me. I want him to also cook for you, Charming. Don’t overthink it. I know I don’thaveto have him do that, but Iwantto,” he insists.
“Well, how the hell am I supposed to say no to that?” I ask aloud, too confused to keep that as an inside thought.
“You don’t.” He smiles triumphantly and pulls out his phone, apparently to text me the contact info because my phone buzzes in my pocket. “And make sure to text him, otherwise he’ll guess, and he won’t know to make you chocolatey desserts.”
“Oh my god, I don’t need desserts from him too.”
He rolls his eyes as he takes our food out of the to-go bag. “Adrian, you don’tneedanything. I know that. But if you want it, if it’s going to make you happy, then you should ask him for whatever you’d like.” Instead of handing me my container, he opens it and starts plating my meal for me, as if on autopilot, like that’s a totally normal thing to do for your friends. Then he pulls out not one but two very chocolatey dessert options and sets them both down in front of me.
That’s it.
This seriously can’t be real.
I look around my apartment, convinced there must be hidden cameras. “Okay, I’m sorry, but am I getting Punk’d? Is this some sort of test to see how nice the perfect straight man can be before the innocent gay man cracks and offers to blow him or something?”
Hudson chokes on nothing and starts coughing as I continue. “Sorry, that was probably very inappropriate, but it was the first thing that popped into my head. I’m trying really hard to pretend this is all very normal friendly behavior, but you’re definitely acting way nicer than any friend—or even boyfriend—ever has, and I am very confused.”
When he recovers, he tilts his head again. “Kindness isn’t transactional. Your friends aren’t nice to you?”
I shake my head. “They’re normal nice! Not ‘serve me dinner and get me extra dessert’ nice.”
He glances down at my plate, then back up at me. “I didn’t even think about serving you. I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable. I guess I just like taking care of the people I care about.” He shrugs.
The people he cares about?
This man will be the death of me.
Then he scrunches his brows together, and when our gazes meet, I feel like he’s looking right into my soul. “Is there a reason you don’t think you deserve for people to be nice to you, to take care of you? It seems like you’re always helping everyone else. Does anyone look out for you?”
I blink at him a few times because… what the fuck? How does he seem to see me in a way that no one else ever has? “Is this a therapy session now? Hudson, I promise I’m okay, my friends are great, and they look out for me plenty. Yes, I like to help people; it makes me happy. All I meant to point out was that you could dial it back if you want to.” And yes, it probably is because of my fucked-up childhood, feeling like I need to earn affection and approval that I never will, but that’s a story for another day.
“What if I don’t want to?” he challenges with that big smile of his.
I cross my arms. I honestly have no idea how to respond to him. I’ve never met anyone like Hudson. “Fine. I’m not going to stop you from being weirdly nice. As long as you know you don’t have to be. I’m not Shelby. I won’t be kicking you out or blindsiding you. You can stay as long as you’d like, even if you don’t do all the dishes or watch my favorite shows. Kindness isn’t transactional,” I repeat to him with a smirk.
He chuckles. “I’m not great at being idle. I like to keep busy and moving so I end up cleaning when I’m just sitting at home. And I really do enjoy those shows, too.”
“Fine.” I roll my eyes, but the more serious tone we both had moments ago has been replaced with a teasing one. “Keep being perfect. Somehow I’ll find a way to manage.”
His smile somehow grows. “Good.”
“One more thing though,” I add before we completely move on. “It’s okay if you’re not okay. I know we aren’t all that close, but I am here if you want to talk about any of the stuff you’re dealing with. You’ve seemed to be handling the split really well, but this is your home, however temporary. You don’t have to be strong all of the time. Not around me.”
His smile softens to one that’s a little sadder. “Thanks, Prince.” He shrugs again. “I keep waiting for it to all sink in or something. It’s, like, I think I should be more upset, or angry, or more… I don’t know,somethingabout her leaving me, but I’m just not. I’m really bummed about losing the future I had planned for us and the life I was picturing for my retirement. I was so excited to expand our family, to finally get to be a dad.” He shakes his head again, and I fight the urge to go to him, to wrap him in a hug. Sure, he hugged me when he moved in, butthat was him initiating comforting contact. I don’t know if he’d want the same from me.
“But when I think about Shelby specifically, I’m kind of… numb. I’m annoyed that things ended the way they did, sure. But I don’t think I missherso much as the idea of her and the role I assumed she’d play in my future family. So…” He takes a big breath and finally confidently continues. “I guess that means she probably wasn’t the person I was supposed to be with anyway.”
Wow. I guess I had assumed he was putting on a brave face. I’m relieved to hear he’s taking it so well though. “That is a very mature outlook to have,” I commend.
And I try to stop there, I really do. But I can’t help myself. I want to know more. I want to know everything about Hudson, and he seems comfortable with sharing right now. I just hope I don’t overstep. “Would it be horribly nosey and rude for me to ask why you got married if you seem kind of indifferent about her? Did things change between you two over the years?”
He smiles and glances around like he’s searching for the answer himself. “Looking back at everything now, I think I met her at the right time. I was ready to settle down, get married. She was successful enough on her own that I didn’t think she was just after my money or title of ‘NHL wife.’ Maybe she didn’t think I’d care if she didn’t actually want kids. Or maybe she thought one of us would change our mind before the time came, but now that I really think about it, I guess I was the one doing all the future planning. Plus she’s really hot,” he adds with a short laugh.
I snort. “Well, other than how attractive she might be, and I'll have to take your word on that part,” I joke, trying to avoid things getting too dark, “that really sucks, Hudson. For what it’s worth, you deserve to be treated nicely too. I’m sorry if I made it weird calling out how nice you are or made it seem like I don’t appreciate you. I hope that you can find someone who’s excited about planning that future with you.”
