“The very same,” I confirm. “Then he suggested we watch design shows while we eat, and we spent the whole night making fun of the couple’s impossible standards and commenting on how we would have made everything look so much better.”
“Wow. Are you sure he’s straight? Because that does sound like a perfect night for you.”
“I knooooow,” I whine. “And yes, unfortunately for me, he has made no declarations of any secret attraction to me, or any other men for that matter. So I will just continue to enjoy the eye candy while he somehow raises my already impossibly high standards for what I want in my partner.” And I’ll continueto blame my high standards on why I’m still single and ignore the fact that there aren’t exactly men lining up to ask me out.
“Sorry, A.”
“Thank you, my life really is so hard,” I tease with an eyeroll. “You’re only exposing cults and rebuilding communities. Meanwhile I have to pretend to ignore how hot the half-naked hockey player walking around my condo in grey sweatpants is every morning.”
“A real modern-day hero,” Beck deadpans.
“You get me,” I say with a dramatic sigh. “Okay, I’ll look up therapists and cult specialists and get recommendations to you by lunch. If you can just sign everything I’ve sent over, that should be all I need from you around here, and honestly you can e-sign almost any document these days, so don’t stress if you can’t make it in.”
“You’re the best,” he replies, sounding relieved. I’m glad I can help alleviate some of his stress, no matter how small.
“I know,” I tease with a shrug and a smirk, earning a slight corner of the mouth lift from him before we both get back to work.
I really do love my job. If only the hot man I’m living with wanted to be with me, then my life would be perfect.
5
HUDSON
Iknow I’ve put this off for long enough, but I’m still anxious as I wait for my parents to answer my video call. We’ve texted, and I had a brief phone call with my mom when the first news stories broke about the divorce, but I haven’t had the chance to sit down and actually talk about the situation yet.
I’m in my room at Adrian’s place, lounging on the bed and propped up by his seemingly endless supply of pillows with my laptop balanced on even more pillows next to me. One thing I’ve learned Adrian takes very seriously is comfort, and every pillow, blanket, couch, and bed in his condo are high quality, super soft, and more comfortable than anything else I’ve ever experienced.
Well, I guess I’m assuming his bed is too. I obviously haven’t been on it. But my bed here is way nicer than any I’ve had in the past. I’ll seriously need him to help me pick out furniture when I get my own place, because after living like this, I don’t think I can go back to my previous scratchy blankets and boring, normal number of pillows.
“Hey, sweetie,” my mom finally greets. It looks like she’s got their computer on the kitchen table, the same one that’s been theresince I was a kid. I’ve tried to buy them a nicer home. I'd love to move them closer to me, but my mom insists it’s better for my dad’s routine if he stays in the same house they’ve lived in for almost forty years.
“Hi, guys.” I attempt a big smile. My mom is huddled close to my dad so they can both be seen on the screen, and although my dad doesn’t say anything, half of his face lights up when he sees me.
It’s still hard to look at the man my father has become sometimes, but I know that we’re really lucky to still have him around at all.
“Sorry I haven’t called sooner, things have been kind of crazy since Shelby filed the papers.”
“Oh, don’t you dare apologize. I feel just awful that you were so blindsided by that girl. Is there any way you can come visit us soon? You know I’d love to see you, but I’m not sure if your dad’s overnight nurses would be able to coordinate me being gone for more than a day or two.”
“Go,” my dad grunts. He isn’t able to enunciate well, and long phrases are really hard for him, especially because it can take so long, but my mom and I can understand him. Speech therapy has definitely helped over the years.
My mom waves him off though. Even though I know my dad’s home healthcare staff is the best of the best—I’ve made sure of it—she still really struggles with being away from him.
“Sorry, Mom, I don’t play in Minnesota until December. Let me know how many tickets you want for the game, though, and we can see each other then.”
“Hockey… game?” my dad grits out slowly, checking if he’ll get to be a part of it.
“Yeah, Dad, I’ll make sure you can come see me play in my last season. I got a wheelchair accessible box again so you guyscan come, and hopefully it’ll be a bit quieter, or you can turn off the lights if the arena gets to be too much,” I remind them.
My dad still gets bad headaches sometimes, and the overstimulation of a pro hockey game isn’t great for him. But my mom has assured me that he’s always so happy when he gets to come to my games, and he talks about it leading up to and after them, even if we both know they’re a lot for him to handle. So I try to make the experience as painless as I can.
“And don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine,” I assure them with a shrug. They’ve been through so much worse than what I am dealing with right now, and I really admire how they’ve managed to remain so positive. I’m doing my best to do the same. “Unless you want me to move you guys out here?” I offer hopefully for the millionth time. “I know I was promising grandbabies soon, but I would still love to live closer to you both.”
“Oh, Hudson, don’t worry about us either,” she says, taking my dad’s mobile hand in hers. “I know you were looking forward to that next chapter, but don’t give up hope, sweetie. I also know you’ve never liked being alone, but you are going to make someone else so happy one day, I have no doubt. You truly will be such an amazing father when the time comes. Try not to stress too much about when it’ll happen.”
My dad is nodding, and it’s hard to know how much he’s following along, but I so appreciate his encouragement.
“Thanks, guys. Yeah, I’m trying not to be too hard on myself. It’s just such a big change.”
