It’s me.
It’s always me.
“This isn’t what it looks like, and I would never take advantage of you hurting, Liem. Ever. I’m so sorry.” She scrambles to leave but I snake a hand around her wrist.
“I just. I don’t know if I can… not yet.”
Pathetic. I’m so fucking pathetic.
Her gaze moves downward until it lands on my still protruding dick. “Can I make you feel good? Even if it’s just for a little while. Can I make you forget?”
I swallow the hard lump that forms, and suck in my lip, hissing through the connection as her hand slides down my stomach.
She rubs me under my jeans before unbuttoning them. My breathing picks up and my heart thumps like fucking wild. What I wouldn’t give to have Danika touch me. Come to her hand. Come inside her perfect mouth. But…
She kisses the top of me, and I fist her hair. I want to stop her, and I need to stop her from going any further.
“Butterfly…”
She shoots her head up, our eyes locking, a look of shame flashing over her and it kills me. Absolutely guts me. “I want to—”
“When it’s the right time, I want it to bewithyou. Inside you.”Idiot.I cast a glance down between her thighs, underneath those thin tights of hers, desperately wanting to feel her. “But like you, I too want to make you feel good.”
She relaxes, nodding. “When we’re ready then.”
Even though my dick twitches with readiness, I don’t want it to be like this. Not here. Not now. Not after I gave her the most vulnerable part of myself. I can’t let her think something happening between us is because I’m weak. If it’s going to happen, it needs to be because I’m fully present. Fully here. With her. If that time will ever come.
“Come here.” I pull her down over top of me, my arms encasing around her back and the scent of her lavender filling my insides.
We stay this way for minutes until she lifts her head up. “Will you stay with me tonight?”
I hesitate, but there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than here with Danika. I lay a kiss to her head. “Get some sleep.”
She flops down beside me, nuzzling into my side and lays her head on my chest.
My eyes grow heavy, and my mind feels free—quiet as I lay with her on me. My arm closes around her and for the first time since Gracie, I drift off to sleep at peace.
“What are you doing in here?”
I flipped my mask up, closing the space between me and Gracie. “You shouldn’t be in here with the fumes.”
“Like it really matters?” she quipped, and the knife slid right through my chest. “Sorry. That was insensitive.”
I couldn’t imagine what she’s going through, but when she talked like that, it hurt. I took the side of her face in my embrace, rubbing her delicate skin. “Don’t say shit like that to me.”
“Why? I’m not getting any better. Don’t pretend like I am.” Her voice raised, a hint of anger behind it.
I hated seeing her this way. So weak. So fragile on the outside. She’s been so strong, but she’s exhausted and frustration had taken over. Who the hell could blame her? If only I could trade places with her, be the one who is dying instead. She deserved to live—to be in this world.
People needed her.
People don’t need me.
She deserved to be a mother and save lives. What did I have to offer?
“Shouldn’t you be working on the new home?” She wrapped the blanket around her bony shoulders as she rubbed her sunken in eyes.
“I quit the construction. Sold my share.” I busied myself to avoid the furious look I knew she was throwing me.
