“I’m sure. I don’t know how anyone could not love you. She’d be so proud of who you are today.”
He scoffs, shaking his head in disgust. “Would she? If she knew all the bad things I’ve done. If she knew I was a cold-blooded killer.”
I shrug, turning toward the ceiling. “You’re a justice server. Someone has to do it. And your club keeps us safe.”
“I couldn’t keep you safe.”
I flick my gaze to his, both our heads turn to one another. “You saved me that night. If it weren’t for you, I’d be in hell.”
“I’m sick, butterfly.”
My stomach drops to the floor. “What?”
“The voices are so loud sometimes, and I just want to shut them off. I want them to stop.”
My brows crease with heartbreak. “Oh, Liem—”
“I’m afraid that because of my mom…” He stills.
“You’re afraid her illness is genetic.”
He breathes in, letting out a heavy sigh. “Yes.”
“What can I do to help? Let me help you.”
“Don’t you see… when I’m with you, the voices are silent. They aren’t there. You turn them off and I can finally fucking breathe.” There’s an extreme torment to his voice, so much pain, yet so much healing.
I let out a strangled breath, my heart growing five times its size. “I’m never going anywhere. You need me, and I’ll be here. Always.” I stroke his cheek. “Will you tell me about her? The one you love. How she died.”
She was and still is a part of both of us and for that I am grateful he has her. Even if he doesn’t know she has some of me too.
He turns toward the ceiling as before, but pulls my hand over his chest, right above his heart. “She was my everything.”
Hush
I held Gracie’s hand. Her skin soft as it always was, but her hand felt colder. It wasn’t warm to the touch anymore. Another side effect of chemotherapy. Besides her fatigue and weight loss, her skin just felt… cold. Her gentleness was still there along with her happy spirits. And I thanked whoever would listen for that.
The night was bitter, and the wind and rain hit the outside of our SUV like rocks. I just wanted to get her home—safe in our bed.
She glanced over at me with her smile that I loved. But it didn’t reach her eyes. She was tired of fighting, and it killed me. Ate away at me like a… disease. Like a fucking cancer.
“Liem. Will you roll down the windows?” She laid her head back against the headrest, still peering at me.
“Baby. It’s pouring,” I said with a half chuckle.
“I know, but I… I want to feel it. The rain on my hands.”
I looked over, her eyes now closed like she was waiting for it.
The droplets on her skin.
Whatever she wanted, it was hers. I’d give her anything. So, I did what any other man who was losing the love of his life did.
I rolled down the windows.
The wind violently tugged the rain toward us, and it hit my skin like tiny pebbles. Sure, this was crazy but as I glanced over at Gracie, my heart ached a brutal ache. God, if I could watch her laugh every day, I’d give anything.
The tears formed but I swallowed them back giving her this moment. Because this right now, was for her.
