I lay my head against his shoulder, and he wraps his arm fully around my back, encasing me to him. There’s nothing else that matters except this man who is shattering me in the best way possible.
Is it possible to love someone so fast? To feel so much for another person without the time to back it up. I don’t know and I don’t care. Because I’m letting myself feel in this moment.
Liem’s face buries into my hair in the tiniest fraction, and I close my eyes. We melt into one another, our souls fading together.
He strokes my hair and my eyes sting with tears. This is the worst time to be crying. But I feel it, a drop from his eyes. And that’s when I realize, this dance isn’t just for me, it’s for the both of us. A way of bandaging our souls. Healing together.
My shoulders shudder from the overwhelming emotion that I can’t stop from pouring out of me.
The song stops but I stay locked in his arms, and he doesn’t even try to pull me from him.
Thank God.
When we do break apart, he holds my face, and our foreheads meet. He glances down at my mouth and just when I think he’sfinallygoing to kiss me, he doesn’t and my heart cracks.
I get it. I do. But I want this so badly it hurts.
He lets me go and the world turns cold again.
A fast song plays through the bar, Liem staring at me with an apologetic guilt. A gesture I don’t want or need.
I back up slowly, his gaze never faltering. I find Tequila who just broke apart from Throttle, and I snatch her hand in mine. We twirl together moving more into the mild crowd. She starts first and then I follow her rhythm because even though that dance was about me and Liem, this one is for only me. We bump and grind at the music, bringing me back to the old feeling of being carefree and having fun. The spunky me who was always loud. The hyper one. The thrill seeking one. A time with innocence and vulnerability.
The heat of his stare melts into me. I don’t have to check if he’s watching, I can sense it. And I feel guilty for falling for him. Liem doesn’t have to feel the same, but it’ll be impossible for me to stop mine.
TWENTY-FIVE
Danika
The morning after, I decided to pack my things and head back to my apartment. My roommate was away again. I’ll never understand why she’s always gone, but I’m going to assume whatever her and her boyfriend are involved in is better off staying none of my business. Even though the apartment is empty and cold, I’m grateful she hasn’t completely kicked me out, even if her boyfriend deserved every bit of what he had coming to him.
I have another late shift at the diner but I’m looking forward to Tequila and Throttle stopping in. It’ll make tonight a little less insufferable. Though, in the back of my mind I’ll always worry about my dickhead boss and his adamant statement about my biker friends coming in. Apparently paying customers who don’t bring any trouble are bad news. But you know what, he can get fucked because I’m in my, I don’t give a flying rat’s ass anymore, stage. And it’s like a little piece of me who’s missing, comes floating back together.
Stepping outside of my building there’s a car parked at the curb. Any other circumstance, I would have ignored it like no big deal, it’s a car, but the big piece of paper tucked inside the wipers has me halting in my steps. In giant letters the wordbutterflyis written. I’m instantly reminded of how Liem called me that before and goosebumps rise.
I swallow a bit of fear away as I take the paper and read the handwritten note:
It’s yours. You won’t have to walk anywhere ever again. Key is on the tire.
Liem.
Wait. A. Damn. Minute.
He’s giving me a car.
I stare with an open mouth at the Toyota Camry. It’s perfect, truly perfect, and I think I might cry. No wait,I amgoing to cry.
He’s giftingmea car. I already said that, but I still can’t comprehend. How am I supposed to accept something like this? It’s too much but… thiswillbe easier than asking Tequila for a ride or taking the bus when the courage sets in.
Pocketing the key into my purse, I glance across the street. A shadowy figure disappears behind the ally wall, and a tug of gratitude pulls at my chest.
I head for the diner, leaving my new gift sitting at the curb, but I stop just outside, my hand on the door. I know Liem follows me. Not sure if he knows I know, but I do. Some may find it creepy, but it gives me a sense of security.
“Thank you,” I say, hoping my voice carries over to the ally where I know Liem is. “And please for the love of God, you don’t need to park your motorcycle a block away.” With that, I smile and walk inside my torture chamber for the next eight hours.
In the back, Lydia ties her apron around her waist, eyeing me with amusement. “What did I miss? Good sex? A date with your vibrator?”
I pause, tying my apron just the same. “What are you talking about?” I play ignorance.
