Hearing such a confession should make me run for my life, leave his broken soul under the shower, in my apartment, and get the heck out of dodge. Yet… I reach for his hand, waiting for him to jolt back or at least flinch from my touch, but he doesn’t.
“He must have deserved it then.” At my words, Hush flicks his gaze to mine, his black soulless eyes returning with a bit of something resembling rage, but I’m just happy to see life.
His fierce gaze does something to me, and even under the hot stream, my blood turns into a fiery liquid. The fury inside him dies as sadness takes over. His shoulders slump in the process.
The final red flow of water disappears down the drain, it now running clear but there’s no way he feels clean, I’d know, because I too have never felt clean. After that abomination of a man took what he wanted from me, my skin felt scarred. And after I was rescued and returned home it didn’t matter that Iwould sit just like this under the stream of water because I will always be tainted with his foul touch.
I rise, grabbing the shampoo. “May I?”
With the same sorrow filled eyes, he lazily nods, and I secretly hope he doesn’t mind smelling like coconut and vanilla.
I gently start rubbing it into his scalp working on the longer strands, then letting the spray of water rinse clean. I do the same with the body wash after he gives me the okay. I take my hands, softly messaging his shoulders first. Satisfaction selfishly runs through me as his eyes flutter close, taking in the feeling. I move down his hard back and then shimmy to his front, lathering the soap on his chest and then down his abdominal muscles. There’s a slight jerk from him as I lather the creamy soap over top of them, and I could have sworn I heard a faint hissing as he sucked in a breath. But I probably imagined it.
With us this close we share the same breath, locked in each other’s gazes as I continue to wash him.
Touch him.
Feel him.
The water turns cold, stripping us of any warmth left.
With both our bodies dripping wet, and water drizzling onto the bathroom floor, I grab two clean towels.
He stares at me, the same way he always does, with an intensity my body is never ready for. The leftover water slowly trickles over every part of him as he wraps the towel around himself, his mind now here with me. I dry the biggest parts of me off before we leave the steamed over bathroom. He’s still quiet as we exit but at least he’s not in a comatose state anymore.
“My roommate’s boyfriend always leaves clothes here. I can see if he has a pair of clean sweatpants you can borrow.” Hoping that’s not too weird to offer.
He nods, still holding my eyes captive with his.
Damn.
“Okay. Give me a sec.” I quickly fish out a pair of sweats from my roommate's bedroom and hand them to Hush. He hooks his fingers under the tops of his wet boxers, and I spin, knowing he’s about to be commando under there. Luckily, they look to fit him because when I come back over from collecting blankets, they hang perfectly at his waist.
“It gets cold here at night. Our heat never works well.” I set the blankets down on the couch, not knowing what to do next. “You can stay here tonight if you need to. I know, it’s odd we’re constantly having these unintentional sleepovers, but...” I swallow harshly, wanting to stifle my babbling.
He peers down at the blankets, a swirl of something playing in his mind. “I told you I killed a man tonight and you offer me a place to stay.” It’s not formed as a question, but rather a statement of what the hell is wrong with you.
I meet his ungodly stare. “Hush. I’ve been raped dozens of times by the same vicious monster. You can tell me that you’ve killed thousands of men, and I’d still feel the safest with you.”
He goes completely still, fury lacing his expression. “You shouldn’t be so trusting of me.”
“Probably. But it’s too late for that.” I blink away before saying, “Stay. Please. You should rest and whatever happened tonight, try to forget about it for a while.”
“I’m not sure I’ll be able to sleep. But I will take you up on the offer to stay. At least until I’m in the right mindset.”
I nod. “Would you like some tea?” It’s the only thing I can offer him, making me feel a little less useless.
“No. Thank you. Is it all right if I want to be alone?”
Embarrassment floods my cheeks. “Of course. Yeah. That’s silly to even ask. I’ll be in my room if you need anything.” I couldn’t have gotten away fast enough, but when I turn to leave, his hand clamps onto my arm. My body doesn’t flinch. It does, however, hum alive.
“Thank you, Danika.” There it is. The sound of my name I can listen to forever.
“You’re welcome.”
He lets go and I already miss his touch.
At the doorway, I stop, seeing him set up the sofa with the blankets. “Hey, Hush.” He looks up, more life inside him. “If you ever want to talk, I’m a great listener. And about tonight, you can trust me to keep your secret.” I know whoever’s life he ended couldn’t have been a good man regardless. But I can’t help but get a twinge of jealousy wondering who the mystery woman is. Sick and twisted considering she obviously needed his help in some way. But then it hits me, what if the woman is her…
