With a swallow, I keep my dress tightly against my chest, so it won’t fall to the floor.
“Thank you,” I say, spinning around catching the quick glance he casts down at my visible scar.
Thanks to my dress now loose, the engraving to one of the worst memories rears its ugliness to the world. And sometimes I dig at my skin wishing I had the mental capacity to take a knife and slice it off. The marking would be gone for good, but I’d have to be a masochist to do it.
I don’t miss the flash of empathy on his face.
“Don’t pity me.” I hate the gesture—hate that everyone feels sorry for what had happened to me.
“I don’t pity you. But I would have killed him for you.” His voice sends a chill through me, and I shiver from it. “Get into bed, I’ll bring you some water.”
With my dress still clutched in my grip, I stare at the spot Hush had stood. How do I act after such a declaration? But I shove it away, the feeling of being cared for, wanting to be defended in such a way I can’t remember.
I throw on my night clothes, curling my body inside my bed sheets when Hush comes back, placing the water on the bedside table.
I don’t want him to leave, but I’d never say that to him. Instead, words that I’ve been fighting against venture from my mouth. “I hate myself. Hate who I am.” The confession is bold, but it’s not like I’m in the right mind set anyway.
His body goes rigid, standing at the side of my bed, his back to me. But it’s the way he turns just enough allowing me to see the view of his perfectly, sharp profile. “Why do you say that?” Disgust or disbelief slides out of his tone.
“You were there. You saw how stupid and reckless I was and look where it got me because of it.” My heart picks up at my self-realization. “I just wanted to forget everything for once. Erase it out of my mind even if it was just for one night.”
Hush whirls around, letting me fully see him, and there’s an understanding in his eyes. “This wasn’t your fault.”
I grip the sheets tightly, balling them into my fists for comfort. “Maybe not entirely. But I always have the same ending.”
The tension leaves his shoulders, and he breathes out a deep, heavy sigh. “This isn’t your ending.”
“You don’t know that.”
“No. But I won’t let that happen.”
My gaze holds strong against him and a flutter in my stomach dances uncontrollably.
“You can’t go back to that club, Danika.” He doesn’t have to tell me because I’ve already decided to swear off thatenvironment for good. The old me loved going to clubs, to bars, parties. But the new me… well, I haven’t figured her out just yet.
“Why were you there?” I’m curious but at the same time, incredibly lucky.
“Club business.” That’s all he says, me taking that as a hint not to ask any further questions.
With my hands under my cheek, laying on my soft sheets, I watch as he sits in the chair only a couple feet away. “Forget my ending, what if my life between now and then is this?”
He leans forward, elbows resting on his strong thighs. “And what’s that?”
“Someone to be used.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“Is it? Because I’m not so sure anymore.”
“You’re not someone who would give up so easily.”
My eyes burn and not from the drug taking up residence in my blood. “Have you ever thought about giving up?” I don’t know why I’d ask that. But I can’t take it back now even if I do regret it.
There’s a brief pause before he says, “Every day.”
My thoughts spiral, but I can’t fight my eyes closing anymore. And the fact he’s here in my room should leave me on edge, but I’m glad because it gives me a sense of comfort instead.
“Get some sleep.” His voice is the last sound I hear before the world fades away.
