I stopped the sway of the swing, and her big, brown eyes peered up at me. I moved a strand of her fallen hair and thendropped my forehead to hers. “I promise we will always have each other. Here. In our home. Looking out at the mountains… with Lola.”
Gracie chuckled. “See. I knew you had a soft spot for her.”
I shrugged, giving off a faint smirk. “She’s growing on me.”
“You’re her favorite and don’t even act like you don’t love her, too.”
I hated cats but I liked Lola. Damn thing never left my side. She slept at my feet. Never thought I’d like a cat the way I liked Gracie’s Lola.
“Yeah, but I like you more,” I told her.
“And I love you, Liem.”
We stayed like that for a bit longer before going back to our responsibilities. If it were up to me, she’d never work again. We’d have five kids like she wanted. She could stay home and raise them, and we’d spend every morning on this damn swing, drinking coffee and listening to the birds. That’s all I wanted. All I needed.
Gracie put her head on my shoulder and closed her eyes. “Give me five more minutes.”
I’d give her hours if it meant she’d be happy. She’s been so tired lately working too much. I laid my head down on hers and closed my eyes too. Her body warm against mine, seeming so fragile, yet strong.
My Gracie. My love. My everything.
“Liem.” The sound of her voice grew faint. “Liem. Wake up.”
I didn’t want to wake up. I wanted to stay here. With her.
“Wake up, Liem.”
Thunder rumbled in the sky.
A storm was coming.
And then she was gone.
Again.
My eyes spring open to the sound of a loud bang at my door. Sweat trickles down my temples, down my back. I stare up at the ceiling wiping sweat off my brow.
The pain in my chest always worsens after one of those dreams. I wanted to stay with her. But every time, I just wake up.
“Yo, Hush! You alive in there?” Tank pounds another fist against the wood.
Barely.According to the voices.
I drag myself out from under the damp covers then whip open the door. “Yeah?” I run my hand through the hair that has fallen.
“Sorry, man, but Chain called church. Everyone meets in ten.”
I cast a glance behind him to the empty hallway. “I’ll be there.”
Tank nods as I shut the door and head for the bathroom. I stay here at the clubhouse most days. It’s just easier that way. I like being alone, but I hated being alone at my place more.
I spit the toothpaste out and then splash cold water on my face, taking a second to let it trickle down my skin, over my bare chest. With my head low, I let my shoulders hold the weight of my body while trying to clear my mind. Fuck, those dreams sucked. Always feel too real, and they sucked because I end up waking up realizing they aren’t anything but a memory.
Damn it hurts.
I finish getting myself together and then stalk down the hall to the meeting room.
In church Chain talks about a trade meet up. But I can barely focus on anything he’s saying. I’m present physically but right now… my mind is elsewhere. Back on the fucking porch in Oregon.
