I hesitate before saying yes. It’s either her or public transportation, and I’m still not ready to be alone with complete strangers.
Will I ever be ready? But this is a step in the right direction.
Has to be.
SIX
Danika
The diner is slammed tonight. Not that being busy is any sort of surprise considering it’s the evening rush hour. I’m just glad about the chaos because it means time flies and my mind will be too preoccupied to be thinking about things I don’t want to remember.
The tips are pretty great, too. Any extra money I earn, I tuck away. If I collect enough, I may be able to get a decent place somewhere in a better neighborhood. Where I live isn’t the worst but I’m hoping to be somewhere less visible and away from people. Away from the city. I’m close to the clubhouse, which is secluded, and I like that. I’m comfortable there. And going to a self-defense class tomorrow doesn’t scare me like I thought it would. I’m ready.
“Excuse me, miss. My burger is cold.” A middle-aged woman scowls at me while holding up her hamburger meat like it’s contaminated.
“I’ll get you another one.” I smile even though I know damn well that burger came out hot. I grab her plate and head toward the back but stop dead in my tracks when I spot someone outside.
“Woah. You need to start wearing brake lights, sis.” Lydia speeds past me carrying a tray full of drinks but my focus snaps back to the window.
He’s gone.
But I know it was him watching me.
Hush
The city’s quiet except for the diner. The streetlights shine on the sidewalk where the thin layer of snow has already melted. I don’t know what I’m doing here. It’s wrong. But there’s no way to stop it. This urge drug me here.
That day replays inside my head since seeing her again. The exact moment I shot those tires. When I pulled her out. Accompanying her to be treated for all the fucked-up shit she had endured. Not that she hasn’t crossed my mind a couple times since then. Wondering if she’s all right. I never thought I’d see her again. But today, I saw her tortured soul in those eyes. I know because I stare back at mine every time I look in the mirror.
My hands find my hoodie pockets as I stand by the diner window peering in at her. She rushes down the aisles taking orders and then bringing those orders without faltering. Her thick copper brown hair is what I can remember the most. The color makes her light blue eyes stand out. They remind me of—
The clench of my jaw forms as I mentally curse myself for even recalling such features. But she peered up at me, petrified, as she clung to my hoodie earlier today. She’s hurting and I have to make sure the reason for her pain isn’t still around.
She’d been through enough.
She takes the plate from the agitated woman, and her gaze locks on mine for a split second before I tuck myself against the outside out of sight.
Fuck.
I give it a few minutes before slowly slinking back but she’s gone. I’m about to leave when she reappears from the back, carrying another order. She’s focused but tired. Something grips at my chest, and I shake it away. I knew what tiredness looked like. Exhaustion. Fighting your inner demons. But there’s something she carries that I don’t and it’s the will to keep living. I’m existing but for her, she’s trying to live. Trying to survive with determination.
She stops at the corner of the bar flipping through her notepad when a man approaches her. He’s older, and his body language is anything but nice. She goes rigid and dares not to make eye contact with him. She busies herself with her notepad instead. Judging by his ugly ass tie, I’m guessing he’s her boss. My shoulders straighten at how close he is. Too close. But as he belittles her, her face flushes with nervousness and she slowly shuts down, taking a step back to give herself more room.
The tightness in my jaw flexes but then he prowls away, and her pen stops moving. A slight tremble radiates off her body, but she breathes deep, suppressing it.
She is visibly afraid.
I was going to leave. Once I saw her, I was going to stop watching. Stop being curious. But when her shift was over, I had to wait and make sure she got home okay.
I hide in the shadows inside the alleyway with the January night temperature having already made its way down to my bones.
When she finally comes outside, her being one of the last to leave, she zips up her coat, then undoes the tie that securesher hair, letting the full strands cascade down and around her shoulders.
My gaze is trained on her, which lines my stomach with guilt.
With the shadows still masking my body, I keep watch until she heads across the street and into the apartment building.
The tension in both my shoulders fades knowing she doesn’t have to go far.
