The corner of his mouth lifts and I melt. He really is beautiful. “They’re even better with you in them.” He gets inside, pulling me to him and we lay there just like at my apartment. But this time, I know he won’t leave because it’s different now. We’re different.
“I’ll take you back to your place to get your things. But you can’t stay there anymore.”
I laugh. Clearly knowing I never want to go back. “Let them burn whatever. I don’t need anything. Just my car.” I smile. Not like me and my roommate have a relationship. We definitely won’t be having one in the future either.
I’m sure Liem’s club’s connections already have the place spotless, and I’ll just disappear from it all. Never looking back.
What will I do now? Where do I go from here? I have no idea, but I’ll figure it out like I always did. I never had a plan, but I always figured it out.
But my past floats in my thoughts. “I think I want to teach yoga again,” I tell him, and he kisses my forehead. His hardness rubbing against me from under the sheets. I moan but force my words out. “I think it’ll be good for me. I’ll find a full-time job and teach part-time. What do you think?”
Liem rubs a circle around the butterfly tattoo behind my ear as he props himself up on an elbow. “I think you’ll be fantastic, and you know you don’t have to work if you don’t want to. I can take care of you, Danika. I’ll go back in construction and—”
“Woah. Hang on. What do you mean go back to construction?” My brows furrow as I mimic him and hold myself up on my elbow.
He looks down at my lips then meets my eyes again. “I’m going to quit the club.”
My mouth gapes open, my eyes darting frantically over him. “What? You can’t do that. They’re your brothers. Your family.”
“And they’ll always be, but there’s nothing left for me there. I joined because I had this void needed to be filled. A vengeance, you can say. But that need—that craving is gone. Now that I have you, the Steel Valley Chains aren’t what I need anymore. It’s you.”
I smile, more sorrowful than I intended. “If that’s really what you want, then I support your decision. But… I do want to work. Who knows, maybe I can open my own yoga studio one day.” I break our eye contact only for a moment, before peering into his again. “I have something to tell you because if we’re in this for the long run you deserve to know before it gets too deep. It wouldn’t be fair if I kept it a secret.” I’m ashamed to tell him. But I can’t keep this from him.
He nods, kissing my forehead again. “I won’t run this time. I won’t run again. Don’t ever be afraid to talk to me. I love you, Danika. No matter what.”
“Yeah, I know. But this might change your mind in being with me.” My eyes sting and I close them to gain strength to finish. “I can’t have kids, Liem.” I wait for any signs of hurt, doubt, resentment to fill his expression, but it doesn’t.
He takes my still wet hair and moves the heavy strand away from my face.
“Just another thing he took from me.” My voice quakes at the memory of being told the trauma was too great and left me permanently marked in other ways not only my flesh.
“Oh, butterfly. I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry he took that choice away from you. You would be a great mother, but it doesn’t matter to me. I’m not going anywhere. And to be honest, the thought of bringing children into this world is fucking terrifying.”
“Did Gracie want kids?”
He lets out a sigh, a sad smile forming across his lips. “She did. And I would have had them with her, but this isn’t about me and her anymore. It’s about me and you. And whatever our fate—our destiny is throwing at you, I’ll catch it. I’d walk through fire if it meant I got to keep you.”
Tears cascade down my face and I fall into him, his arms catching me. I sob into his chest, wetting his muscles. “If we decide together that we’re meant to be parents, will you adopt with me?”
Liem’s shoulders grow lighter, and his face grows less hard. “I would love that.”
“There’re a lot of babies and children who need good homes.”
“Absolutely. And fuck, you’d be one hell of a mother, Danika. Such a good mother.” He pulls me into his chest, and Iclimb on top of him, letting the sheet fall past my shoulders. My naked body on full display as he traces me with fire in his gaze. “Christ, you’re so beautiful.” His hands stroke my waist, and I get hot just by his touch.
He works his way toward my middle, running his thumb against my clit and I moan in pleasurable pain because I need him. In more ways than I can fully understand.
“Get on top of me,” he demands.
I move letting his hard length play with the center of my wetness and I slide on top of him, taking him to the fullest. I let my body move and we become one once more.
Forever.
THIRTY-EIGHT
Hush
Chain stares at me from behind his desk stroking his graying beard. “You want out.”
