Throttle and his girl, Tequila, walk in, his arm tighter than ever around her.
“You two lovebirds finally decided to join us?” Chain barks out a deep laugh while Maggie, his ol’ lady, smacks his chest.
“Hey. No one said anything to Hush being late. We both saw his ass just get here, too.” Throttle waves a hand, flashing me with a wink and I groan.
“Yeah but…” Tank chews, swallowing his cake. “It’s more fun teasing the newlyweds.”
Laughter sounds around the room. They aren’t hitched yet, but they are in their honeymoon stage, as Angel likes to call it.My insides quickly deflate from the innocent fun, and the ache returns to the middle of my chest.
Fuck.
Jules’s phone buzzes on the table across from me and when she reads the text, her smile widens. She whispers over to her man and apologizes to Maggie as she walks out, phone already on her ear.
I scan the table at everyone. Laughs. Smiles. Genuine happiness. It should makemehappy. All of this. But I still can’t muster up the feeling. There’s always something missing and it makes the hole in my chest bigger.
FOUR
Danika
Instant regret trickles in after hitting send. I should have called instead. But I don’t get to dwell on it too much because my phone starts ringing.
It’s Jules.
After my hello, her kind, bubbly voice sounds in my ear. “I hope me calling you is okay,” she says, a little apprehension in her voice.
I bite my bottom lip. I’m not upset, but I am nervous about putting myself out there. “I hope it’s okay that I texted you. Didn’t want to intrude on your morning. I’m sure you’re busy,” I say in response, my voice equally as timid.
“No. I’m glad you did! Everyone was just having breakfast.”
Something inside of me warms. Is that what it’s like to have a family? “That sounds… really nice.” I swallow away the painful memories that seemed to have faded over time.
Her voice softens. “It really is.” There’s a beat of silence before it fills again. “So, I was thinking… if you want… maybe you’d like to swing by the clubhouse today? I haven’t mentioned this to Tequila because I didn’t want to put pressure on you, but I know she’d be super excited to see you.”
What if all of this is a step backward and it makes the healing process worse? But I’m tired of playing the game of what ifs and I do want to see her.
I pause briefly giving it one more thought. “I like that idea,” I say, stirring my coffee as I sit at the small kitchen table my roommate snagged at a thrift store. “But…” I hesitate, already feeling embarrassed. “I don’t have a car and—”
“Say no more! I’ll pick you up. Chloe’s at school and I’m free all day. Just text me your address.”
“The bus is fine. I don’t want to put you out.” Even though it’s not fine, heat rises on every part of my face. Here I am, at the age of twenty-seven, and I don’t have my own means of transportation. It’s not that I can’t afford a cheap a car, but who needs one when the only places I go are the grocery store and work. Being out and around others is too vulnerable.
To be honest, my job is mediocre, and my life is embarrassing.
“You’re not or I wouldn’t have offered. I’ll come after breakfast so don’t forget to send me your address. I’ll see you soon!” She hangs up before I have a chance to respond.
Okay. I’m doing this. I am going to see the woman who I befriended while being held captive. No big deal. Except itisa big deal. And I can’t ignore the deep hammering in my chest.
I shower quickly, do my hair in loose curls, and pick out my favorite jeans and sweater. It’s not so much the fact of seeing her after all this time, but the idea of not knowing how I’ll feel when I do see her. It was such a traumatizing experience for us that I swore I’d pack everything away having to do with that time of my life. Never reopen that box. Yet here I am. But something draws me to them, and I can’t simply ignore the pull. Perhaps this is part of moving forward. And it doesn’t mean I have to stay connected. Maybe this will be the closure I need to seal it up and never look back.
My phone buzzes and it’s Jules letting me know she’s downstairs.
Outside, the cold hits me and I hug my arms around myself. Jules waits at the curb, but she’s not alone. Charger flashes me with a warm smile from the driver's side of their SUV and she waves to me from the passenger side.
Her window goes down and she shrugs. “I can’t seem to ever get rid of him, he’s stuck to me like glue.” She chuckles and I smile. “Hop in.”
Not a minute into the drive Jules turns around as best she can with her belly. “You live across the street from the diner. That’s so awesome! I’m surprised we don’t remember seeing you in there before…” Jules visibly winces while Charger passes her a quick glance. “I mean—”
“Before me and Tequila got kidnapped and held against our will.” It’s better to address the elephant in the room. “I knew what you meant.” I smile, letting her know there’s no hard feelings. “The diner does have good food. Thomas is a great cook.”
