But she doesn’t lose the blissful smile on her face.
Fuck. I’ve never felt better.
I pull her into me, and she drapes her leg over my waist. She freezes when she feels the ridge of my shaft. As if tasting her wouldn’t make me hard.
“Don’t mind him,” I tell her, sliding my fingers around the back of her neck and hauling her closer. I kiss her forehead and murmur, “You taste so fucking good. If I could start everyday with your taste on my tongue, it would make for a damn good day.”
“If only, huh?” She breathes out the words and for some reason they feel like a punch to the gut.
Even though I know she doesn’t intend them to be.
The fear that I’m already far too deep has me swallowing hard.
I want to ask her if she really has thought about me before. I want to make sure I’m not the only one who feels the connection between us. I want her to tell me this doesn’t end badly with hearts broken that may never mend.
Damn it. I’m an asshole.
I try to hold onto the confidence I woke up with, the feeling of being right where I belong. It slips through my fingers like smoke.
Nothing I’ve ever wanted has come easy.
Not my dad’s love.
Not the job, even though it’s what I felt like I needed to do.
Her lemon verbena scent wraps around me and I’m already afraid of never smelling it again. Or, even worse, that I get to for a while and then it slowly fades.
“Aiden,” there’s a little bit of exasperation in her voice and Greylin shifts enough to look up at me. When she does, her eyebrows pull together. “Are you okay? I said your name more than once.”
“Sorry,” the word feels like glass in my throat, “I didn’t hear you.”
She eyes me like she doesn’t believe me, which is fair. But I really didn’t hear her. Because I was too busy starting to freak the fuck out about how wrong all of this could go.
And everything at stake if it does.
It’s not easy to go from seeking my father’s approval at every turn to walking away. Because that is what being with Greylin will require. I know it because I know him. He won’t let it go or deal with his issues.
“What are you doing today?” She looks at me, her crystal blue eyes wide and round. “I don’t have to go into work until later. Do you,” she pauses and bites her lower lip like she’s not sure if she wants to finish asking the question, but then she takes a breath and powers on, “maybe want to hang out? We could make breakfast and watch a movie?”
Everything in me is screaming to say yes. But my lips won’t move. The look of hope in her eyes starts to fade and my stomach knots.
“I wish I could,” the words sound hollow, wrong, as they leave my lips. It’s like I’m having an out-of-body experience. “I’m so far behind on laundry that it’s not even funny. I have to head home to deal with it or else it’s going to be a real problem.”
“Right,” Greylin deadpans, “laundry.”
“I’m serious,” I try to argue. “Do you want to come to mine? I can get laundry done and we can still spend some time together,” I throw the words out there and they make me feel even more like an asshole.
The look on Greylin’s face tells me she’s not buying what I’m selling. Not even a little bit.
“No,” she bites out, “I have some laundry to do of my own.”
She slides out of bed before I can stop her and the bubble bursts. Reality rushes in and it’s the last thing I want to face.
I want Greylin, but I can’t have her and my family.
Dad and York are the only family I have left, but Greylin is the future I’m supposed to have.
No matter what I do, I lose.
