I wanted to drown in it. Drown in her. Something settled inside me. I unclenched, like I no longer had to hold myself so tight.
The kiss went on for two more songs before another Lizzo worked its way into the playlist and broke us apart, laughing.
“She’s the best,” Ava said.
“You always loved her.”
“Still do.” Her gaze met mine. “I didn’t have the guts to ask something at the carnival.”
“Ask me anything.”
She sat away from me, leaning against the wall. Herhair was filled with static electricity, and it fanned out around her head.
“When we were together before, did we ever…” She looked down and bit her lip.
I knew what she meant. “No. We were about to on the last night. But your mom caught us.”
“Okay. I read your story about that night. But I didn’t know if maybe you didn’t want to write out that part. An admission of guilt or whatever.”
I shook my head. “I would’ve said it. You were so determined to know if you were a virgin that night.”
“And you felt like I was.”
“I mean, you’re talking to someone who was barely eighteen and pretty inexperienced. But it seemed like you were.”
She glanced in the kitchen. “And how much longer will the sauce take?”
My heart hammered at what she was suggesting. “Some people let it simmer for hours before they declare it ready.”
She held my gaze. “Then we should let it simmer for hours.”
This time when she kissed me, with a determination that matched the final fateful night we were together, the ground swooped out from me. Maybe something was unclenching in her, too.
She stood up and took my hand. “Okay, let’s do this thing.”
I stood beside her. “Are you sure? We’re still new this time.”
She punched my chest. “Are you saying no? You’ve waited over a year.”
“Hell no, I’m not saying no.”
“Then come on.” She pulled me down the hall. “And am I to understand you didn’t get any more experience in the time we were apart?” Her voice was light and kidding, but I stopped dead in my tracks.
“Ava, there is no question to me that you are the only one I’ll ever want.”
She faced me in the hall. “How can you know that? How can anyone know that?”
I gripped her hands. “Some of us just do.”
She watched me for another long moment, as if trying to decide if what I said could possibly be true.
“Well, Mr. Mush. Mr. Romance. Mr. Lovestruck, let’s figure this thing out together.”
CHAPTER 29
Ava
I didn’t feel nervous as I brought Tucker into my bedroom. I figured that this time I had more knowledge about what was about to happen than I might’ve before.
