By the next day, I had a lead. A brand-new condo in Dana Point, three bedrooms, with an ocean view. It was sleek, clean, and move-in ready. Eighty-five hundred dollars a month wasn’t cheap, but it checked all the boxes.
Moving in was a whirlwind. The condo was beautiful but completely bare. I didn’t even know where to begin with furnishing it. I couldn’t ask Natalie. Her taste was already everywhere in my life and bringing her into this space would only make it harder.
So, I did what any new bachelor might do and went to Pottery Barn. I told the sales team what I needed, and they showedup, took measurements, and within a few weeks, the condo was fully furnished. They set up a bunk bed for the kids in one room, a playroom in another, and outfitted the entire space with everything from linens to silverware.
It felt a little surreal, like stepping into a catalog, but it was comforting to know the kids would have a space that felt complete.
The next challenge was breaking the news to my parents. I knew it wasn’t going to go over well. Divorce wasn’t something people in my family did. Ever.
I called my mom first, bracing myself. As soon as I told her, she started crying.
“I knew she never appreciated you,” she sobbed. “You’re such a handsome boy with so many achievements. How could she throw it all away?”
“Mom,” I said firmly, “this isn’t just on Natalie. We both made mistakes.”
She wasn’t listening. “Those poor children,” she cried. “What will this do to them? You need to fix this, Jason. You need to bring her back.”
I sighed, rubbing my temples. “It’s not that simple.”
My dad didn’t even bother to get on the phone. That silence stung more than I expected. I’d always known my parents frowned on separation but hearing my mom cry and knowing my dad wouldn’t even acknowledge it felt like a slap in the face.
My mom offered to fly out to help, but I declined. “I’ve got it under control,” I lied.
I told her I’d be taking Bebe and James to the family lake house in Lake Geneva for the 4thof July holiday, and she promised to pull out all the stops.
Hanging up the phone, I felt more drained than ever. The only thing I knew for sure was that the hardest part of all this wasn’t the condo, or the money, or even Natalie. It was the kids.My mom was right, how was this going to affect them? How could I protect them from the fallout?
That first night in the new place, I stared out at the ocean, trying to make sense of everything. The waves rolled in and out, steady and indifferent, and I felt more unmoored than ever.
The next morning, I called Natalie to check in.
“Hey,” I said, keeping my voice neutral.
“Hey,” she replied softly.
“I wanted to make sure we’re still good for me to pick the kids up this weekend for my first time with them.”
“Yeah, of course,” she said. “The kids are looking forward to it.”
There was a pause, heavy and awkward. “Thanks for making this easy for them,” she added.
“They’re what matter most,” I replied.
And they were. No matter how much my world felt like it was falling apart, Bebe and James were my world.
That weekend, when I picked up the kids, their teddy bears were clutched tightly in their arms, and their excitement was tinged with hesitation. Bebe held onto my hand, her grip firm, her wide eyes scanning the unfamiliar space with a mix of curiosity and caution.
“It’s nice, Daddy,” she said politely.
“Yeah, it’s cool,” James added, his voice slightly more enthusiastic.
I gave them a tour, showing them their bunk beds and the playroom. They seemed to relax a little, and by the time we sat down for dinner, in what would be our new, yet hopefully temporary home, it almost felt normal.
After they went to bed, I sat on the balcony, staring out at the ocean. The condo wasn’t perfect, and maybe it never would be, but for now, it was a start. My phone buzzed in my back pocket. When I pulled it out, a business card slipped loose and floatedto the floor. I bent down to pick it up, it was the woman from the flight to Chicago. I remember thinking about her after we landed, wondering what might have happened if I had taken her up on her offer. Before Shannon, I never really thought I would have crossed the line but the options always were there.
Now, holding the card again, I realized I wasn’t just wondering about someone new. I was starting to accept that maybe I was already halfway gone. And maybe Natalie had felt the shift long before I even knew it was happening.
CHAPTER 53
