That night, as I tucked Ivy into bed, she looked up at me with her big, curious eyes.
“Daddy,” she said, her voice small, “do you think Bebe can come over when we get home?”
I froze for a moment, unsure how to respond. “Summer is coming and you are pretty busy.”
“Oh,” she said simply.
I sat down on the edge of her bed, smoothing her hair. “I'm sure we can find the time sometime soon,” I said, telling a white lie.
She tilted her head, her little brow furrowing in thought. “Okay Daddy, call her mom when we get home,” she saidbrightly, her voice full of hope. “And then Miss Natalie will come too.”
I forced a small smile, brushing a strand of hair from her face. “Okay,” I said softly, though I knew the answer wasn’t that simple.
She seemed satisfied with that response, snuggling into her pillow.
As for me, I couldn’t help but wonder how long it would take for those words to feel true.
CHAPTER 46
CRACKS IN THE MASK
NATALIE
Iwas packing for the weekend with Jason when Meredith walked into my bedroom, leaning against the doorframe.
“You’re really doing this?” she asked, her tone careful but weighted.
I folded a sweater and placed it in my suitcase, my movements slow, methodical. “I have to try,” I said simply.
She hesitated, then walked further into the room. “I ran into Will today.”
A quiet beat passed before I looked up. My hands stilled for a fraction of a second before I forced myself to keep packing. “How was he?”
“Broken,” she admitted. “He looked like he’d lost something he wasn’t ready to let go of.”
I sat down on the edge of the bed, inhaling deeply. “I can’t worry about him anymore, Mer. I’ve already made my choice.”
She sat beside me. “Have you? Or are you just doing what you think you’re supposed to do?”
I let out a slow breath, staring down at my hands. “Jason is my husband. I owe it to him, to our kids, to give this a real chance.”
“But what about you?” she pressed. “What do you want, Natalie? Not what the kids need or what Jason wants, what do you want?”
“I want to feel like myself again,” I admitted, my voice quieter now. “Will made me feel that way, helped me find myself again but…that’s not real life. It was a bubble, and I can’t live in a bubble.”
“Maybe it wasn’t a bubble,” she countered. “Maybe it was a glimpse of what real life could be if you stopped settling.”
Tears burned behind my eyes, but I blinked them away before they could fall. “I have to try,” I repeated, this time with more resolve. “If it doesn’t work, at least I’ll know I tried.”
Meredith sighed, nodding. “Okay,” she said softly. “But if it doesn’t feel right, you can walk away. You don’t have to force something that’s already broken to be whole.”
When I finished packing, I walked into the kitchen, where Bebe and James were already pulling out mixing bowls and cookie cutters.
“Cookies, huh?” I asked, a hint of amusement in my voice.
“Can we, Mommy?” Bebe’s face lit up with excitement.
“Of course,” I said, rolling up my sleeves.
