The hours dragged on. The kids swam, ate cake, hit the piñata, and then swam again. Jason wandered over to me once more, holding out a beer.
“Here,” he said.
“Thanks,” I said, taking it.
We stood in silence for a moment, both of us watching the party unfold. “Natalie’s really good at this stuff,” Jason said, nodding toward her. “She’s been planning this for weeks.”
“It shows,” I replied automatically, my voice catching slightly.
Jason didn’t seem to notice. He just smiled and went back to mingling, leaving me with my thoughts.
By the time the party wound down, I was ready to bolt. I grabbed Ivy, who was pink-cheeked and dripping wet, and told her to thank Natalie before we left.
Ivy ran up to Natalie, throwing her arms around her waist. “Thanks, Natalie! I wish you could be my other mommy.”
Natalie froze for the briefest second before letting out a soft laugh. “Oh, sweet girl,” she said, brushing a hand through Ivy’shair. She looked at me quickly, and we shared one of those awkward glances that said more than it should.
“Okay, silly girl, let’s go,” I said, stepping in to pull Ivy away.
As we walked to the back gate, Jason caught me one last time.
“Nice to meet you,” he said, holding out a hand.
“You, too,” I replied, shaking it firmly.
Camille, still lounging on her chair, called out to me quietly as I passed, “Until next time,, Will.” Her voice was low and knowing, like she had the inside scoop on everything.
The drive home was quiet, but Ivy broke the silence. “That was fun. Can I go to Bebe’s house again soon?”
“Sure,” I said, my voice rough.
“Do you like Natalie?” Ivy asked suddenly. “She’s really nice.”
I gripped the steering wheel, staring straight ahead. “Yeah, she’s nice,” I said carefully. I wondered if all the kids were picking up on the fact that something was going on between Natalie and me.
Ivy nodded, satisfied, and went back to humming to herself.
But me? I couldn’t stop thinking about Jason, about the easy way he’d offered me a beer and talked hockey. He was just a good guy, living his life, while I was…what? Sneaking around with his wife.
I pulled into the driveway and sat there for a minute with my hands still on the wheel.
“Are you okay, Daddy?” Ivy asked softly.
I turned to her, forcing a smile. “Yeah, kiddo. Let’s get inside.”
As I carried her pool bag in and helped her upstairs to shower, the weight in my chest grew heavier. I felt like a huge asshole, just waiting for the whistle to blow.
CHAPTER 35
UNDER THE RADAR
NATALIE
After the uncomfortable encounter between Will and Jason, I felt like I was going to throw up. The shame was overwhelming. I wondered if I needed to come clean with Jason, but I had no idea how to start that conversation. The words didn’t exist, at least none I could say without blowing our life to pieces.
We cleaned up Bebe’s party, but it was all a blur. My feet moved. My hands worked, but I wasn’t really there. Jason and I moved around each other like strangers with a shared task list. I put leftover cupcakes into Tupperware while he broke down the piñata, and the silence between us was suffocating.
I caught glimpses of Bebe’s flushed cheeks, still rosy from running around all afternoon, and James wiped out on the couch, a pile of candy wrappers next to him. It was my daughter’s birthday, the one day that should be about nothing but joy—and yet here I was, feeling like I might fall apart.
