“Gorgeous,” was all I said, but I was also thinking, she looks like someone from Jason’s world.
“Is there any evidence?” Camille asked. “And if there was, do you even want to find it?”
Her question caught me off guard.Did I want to? What would that change? Would I leave Jason if he was having an affair?And then, like a reflex, my mind went to Will. Because maybe that’s what scared me most,what I might do with the truth if I had it.
Part of me thought that finding something would justify going further with Will. It would shift the blame. Give me an excuse.
But I had two kids. I couldn’t afford to be reckless, no matter how Will made me feel. He made me feel all the things a woman wants to feel and forgets she’s missing until someone hands them back to her; sexy, seen, appreciated.
“I could probably find something if I wanted to.” I said quietly. “But, maybe ignorance is bliss.”
“Wouldn’t the truth give you clarity though?” Camille asked, stirring her drink. “If you knew what Jason was doing, you might feel free to…pursue things.” She paused letting the name sit in the space between us. “With…Mr. Parker.”
I looked down at my hands, suddenly too aware of everything, my ring, my chipped nail polish, the fact that she wasn’t wrong.
“It’s not that simple,” I said. “Will makes me feel things I didn’t even realize I’d lost. But it’s not just about how he makes me feel. I have to think about Bebe and James. I don’t know if any of this is real or just an escape from everything that isn’t.”
Camille reached across the table and gently placed her hand over mine.
“Whatever you do,” she said softly, “I’m here for you.Toujours. Always.”
I nodded, grateful for her loyalty, how understanding she was, even when I didn’t fully understand what I was doing myself.
Later, I sat at the computer working on Will’s house. I found a beautiful painting of a horse that would look perfect in Madison’s room and texted him a photo.
Natalie: I found this for Madison’s room. What do you think?
His reply came almost instantly.
Will: Madison would love that.
Natalie: I can speak to the artist and arrange delivery if you want
Will: Perfect, I’ll send you my credit card information.
I hesitated before typing back. Bubbles appeared. He was typing.
Will: How are you?
I paused for a moment, staring at his message before replying. Finally, I responded.
Natalie: I’m good.
Will: You sure?
Natalie: I don’t know. I guess I’m a little freaked out about our meeting
Will: Freaked out?
Natalie: Well… you know I’m married.
Will: I figured, but you haven’t mentioned your husband.
Before I could type another word, my phone lit up. Will. Actually calling.
When I answered, his words came out in a rush.
“Natalie, I know I’m crossing a line here, but I can’t stop thinking about you.”
