“You said you’d be careful. Dangling from a branch over a ravine after driving a car off it isn’t being careful.” Standing, I dust off my jeans and pay very close attention to every speck of dirt, picking it off meticulously and avoiding eye contact. If I look at him, I don’t know how I’ll react now that the adrenaline of the situation is beginning to wear off.
“And you said you’d go back to the cabin, so I guess we both lied.”
An explosion echoes through the trees and makes me jump, a sharp squeal escaping from my throat at the same time, and before I can even move, Tanner is wrapped around me, shielding me from…the world?
Total darkness consumes me in this little cocoon he’s created full of warmth and safety, just as reality takes a giant bite out of my ass. This is the second time I nearly died, all because of a man who thinks he can take what he wants. That could be mein the ravine, my body burning in the wreckage, and Tanner just literally risked his own life to save mine.
I’ve lived a good life, I’ve been a good person, why is the world trying to fuck me dry? Maybe I’m wrong and I haven’t been good. My decisions have been pretty selfish and self preserving. I just killed someone, for fuck sake, because she bullied me. Sure, it was a little more than that, but the bullying was the crux of it.
The world has given me Tanner like,look what you could’ve had all this time if you weren’t such a whiny bitch. And now it’s ready to rip it all away from me again, tearing me apart in the process.
I guess this is everything I deserve.
“Shh, it’s okay. I’ve got you.” He’s stroking my hair back from my face, his thumbs wiping away fat tears I hadn’t realized were rolling down my cheeks.
I blink a few times and open my eyes, the warmth of his embrace not entirely gone, but it’s probably for the best.
“There she is.” He kisses my damp lips, claiming a piece of my soul with every second he lingers. “That voice in your head is a liar. You’re not a bad person.”
Did I think out loud?
“You killed someone today, Berkleigh. It’s a big fucking deal. Normal peopleshouldfreak out. Although, it took you long enough.” He chuckles and kisses me again. “Look, Taylor Frey deserved nothing less than what she got. End of story.”
A nod is about all I can muster in this moment, and I think he gets it. My internal monologue is having a whole freak out about literally everything. It’s like a system shutdown is happening, my declining adrenaline that was fueling me almost sitting on empty after the explosion.
“Wrap your arms around my neck. I’m gonna take you home, Sweet Bee.” He stands with me in his arms and lifts me likeI’m weightless, but my heart begins beating rapidly at just the thought of going home.
I haven’t been there since that night. I can’t.
Shaking my head, I attempt to get down, words of explanation failing me, but he must sense what my panic is about because he refuses to let me go.
“Notyourhome. My home. Home, home.”
My panic eases and I nod again, completely at his mercy. I feel like a small child in his arms, one desperate for comfort that he gives all too easily. I both love and hate it.
The drive home goes by in a blur of lights reflecting off the windows of the buildings, the rumble of the engine and the music from the stereo melding into something I can’t even begin to fixate on. I don’t even care that Tanner is driving my car.
This birthday has been a mixture of emotions I didn’t think were possible, but I’m ready for it to be over.
I must have fallen asleep because I’m no longer in my car. A blanket is being carefully placed over my still fully-clothed body, before Tanner’s scent wraps itself around me along with his carefully placed arm across my waist. Turning to nestle into him, I don’t even open my eyes as I make myself comfortable. One of his arms is now beneath me, my head on his bare chest, and I breathe him in as I drift back off to sleep.
A loud bang makes me shoot up from the bed, immediately regretting it when I have to pause because of a head rush. Beside me, instead of finding Tanner lying there, the space is empty. Cold. I tell myself it’s fine. The bang wasn’t a gunshot, I’d know that sound anywhere after the last few weeks of training, but Ican’t help the small drop of panic working its way through my system.
I pick up my cell from the bedside table and realize it’s dead, so I leave it on the mattress as I stand, both happy and slightly disgusted that I’m still fully dressed. Ugh, I should have a shower and get changed, but my curiosity is winning over everything else. Leaving Tanner’s minimalistic bedroom, I head downstairs, expecting to hear sounds coming from the kitchen.
It’s silent…nada…
I search the rest of the house to no avail. It’s empty. I’m alone.
This is the first time I’ve been alone in longer than I can remember.
The unmistakable sound of a motorcycle engine roars to life from the garage and I rush toward the front door. I’m just in time to watch Tanner ride away with no explanation. Not that I need an explanation, of course, but it would’ve been nice to know he was planning on leaving me here by myself.
With a trembling sigh, I lift my chin and go back inside the house, locking the door behind me. My next job is checking the locks on any other doors and all of the windows…all fine. Feeling a little more relaxed, I head upstairs and take a quick shower. I briefly eyed the bathtub because a long soak would be heavenly, but I talked myself out of it. I don’t have any of my bath oils here and the fear of entering my own home wins out over bath-time.
Finished in the bathroom, I brush then run my fingers through my short strands. It won’t take long to dry, and while the spray of water beat down on me in the shower I decided I could use this opportunity to snoop. Tanner could be gone for ten more minutes, an hour…I have no idea—about the length of his absenceorhis occupation. How he makes his living.
I know he used to be in the military, he joined during the summer after we finished high school, but I don’t know why he left, exactly when he left, or what he does now. I could ask him,but he’s such a closed book. He’ll probably deflect my questions with his masterful tongue or his magical dick and me being me…I’ll let him.
