The ultimate fear. The trauma that’s followed me around no matter how many therapists I’ve been to. People leaving me behind.
Like the best friends in elementary that made it to high school but tossed me aside when soccer scouts started poking around at my games. Or the friends I had in college, but when they found out I was bisexual, they told me I was being greedy and had pick-me energy. The small business friends I made from the city council, but they didn’t need me after I gave them all of my tips.
It’s like people view me as a resource–something they can use to get what they want. Introductions to the college scouts that came to my games. The magazine who wrote an article about me my senior year in high school–sharing that contact info with other athletes. My marketing strategy for the gym because there’s no way it’s being successful in this economy, or so the people from my small-business cohort thought.
It just feels like there's so much about me that has turned people off. My soccer skills. My college choice. My sexuality. The small amount of success I’ve seen with the gym.
I know that’s why I run myself into the ground, aiming to be as self-sufficient as I can be—I’m afraid to lean on anyone for things that are too important. What if they leave? Get up and decide I’m not worth it anymore. Take what they wanted and go?
Tyson’s hands find my cheeks and he turns my head to his. “Blair. I want you to listen to me, really take this in.” He’s only a few inches away, his blue eyes like the relief of cool water on a hot day. “I am not going anywhere. I am not leaving you. No matter what, I’m going to be right here.”
It looks like he’s going to say something else, but he stops himself and kisses me. It’s soft, full of love, and compassion, like he’s telling me he’s sorry. Reiterating how he’s going to be here for me.
He pulls me over, my back to his front, sitting between his legs. He wraps his arms around me and my arms pull on them. Tyson’s head rests next to mine, on my shoulder, as he holds me, lightly swaying us back and forth.
“I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got you.”
And right now, in this moment, I believe him.
Cosmos Soar Over Lone Stars, Blair Miller Continues to Make History
UPSTATE, N.Y.—The Upstate Cosmos came out of their bye week with a bang, storming to a dominant 38–24 victory over the Dallas Lone Stars on one of the most important Thursdays of the season. The Thanksgiving Day win, which pushed their streak to five straight, was highlighted by an extraordinary performance from none other than Blair Miller, who etched her name in league history…again.
Miller, who has become one of the most talked-about players this season, showed her resilience by bouncing back from a shaky performance the game before. Not only did she nail all five of her extra point attempts, but she also made a 25-yard field goal—becoming the first woman in league history to score a field goal in an NFL game.
The atmosphere in the stadium was electric when Miller’s field goal sailed through the uprights, and even the away crowd couldn’t help but cheer on the historic moment. Fans from both sides stood in admiration of Miller’s achievement, acknowledging the significance of what she had just done.
The Cosmos’ victory, which saw them secure two late touchdowns in the final two minutes, was a testament to their resilience. Despite the Lone Stars’ late surge, the Cosmos’ defense—alongside Miller’s steady leg—helped keep the game in hand as the clock wound down.
With the Cosmos now 5–0 since Miller joined the team, it’s clear that the rookie’s presence has made a lasting impact. According to the Cosmos’ front office, they’re working on finding free agent and practice squad kickers to join the team as they make a run at another Super Bowl. The league is watching closely as Miller’s historic start to her career… wondering what comes next?
Twenty-Seven
Tyson
TodaywasmyfirstThanksgiving game and I could get used to this. At my old team, we were never picked for the coveted prime-time slot, which meant we usually got to go home for actual Thanksgiving, but I’d trade celebrating a week early if that meant I get to play in something so monumental to the game of football.
It was one hell of a game and a day that will be tough to forget. We were just on some good shit, on all sides of the ball. The type of day where everyone was locked in, and it was a complete shootout—lots of points from both teams, going back and forth. Games like this are one of the things I’ll miss most when I decide to hang up my cleats—the energy, the sideline, the camaraderie.
Watching Blair kick a field goal and fucking make it? Un-fucking-real. I’ve been in a lot of stadiums but hearing the sound when it went through was unbelievable. Fans from both sides were in awe, excited to be part of history. The camera crew was ready because they got all the shots of the little girls wearing Blair’s jersey.
Do you know how hard it was for me not to pick her up and kiss her on the sideline? Keeping our relationship a secret was something we decided was non-negotiable. We didn’t need to make this more complicated, especially when Blair has all this attention with the Cosmos. We can keep it under wraps.
If you told me I’d end up dating a best friend, I’d have never believed you. But here I am, racing home from the win, so Blair can meet me at my place. We’ve had one night together back in the city, but I never realized how busy Blair is with the gym. I’ll take what I can get as we try to figure out what this looks like back in New York.
Tonight’s going to be a good one, considering tomorrow is a no-alarm-morning for Blair. She has things to do at the gym but it’s not time sensitive. We’ve tried to find a few days like this coming up, so we can spend more time together.
The doorman buzzes in, letting me know a visitor is here, and I know it’s Blair. She softly knocks at the door, even though I told her she could come in when she got here.
I swing the door open to see a fresh-faced Blair in leggings and an Embers and Ashes crewneck. She has a bag with her and I have to hold back my excitement—I told her to bring some stuff so she’s comfortable when she stays over.
She kisses me on her way in, locking the door behind her. I grab her hand and spin her, which has her laughing, before saying, “You were incredible today.”
“Stop it. You’ve seen me kick a whole bunch.” She tries to wave off the compliment.
Pulling her to me, my hands on her low back to press her hips into me, I continue, “Do you know that for all time, you’re going to be the first woman who played on an NFL roster? Scored in a game? Made a fucking field goal? No one can take that from you.” I put a kiss on her forehead and she grins. “Baby, I’m so glad you’re here.”
“You just saw me,” she laughs into our kiss.
