He pivots toward me, a sated look on his face. “Overthinking. I can feel it from here.” His fingers run up and down my arm, soothing, and he says, “Here’s what’s going to happen. First, we’re going to take a shower. I’m going to clean you up. Then, I’m going to get us coffee and lunch. I’ll also let my family know that we’re alive and we’ll be here for a bit until dinner. And then we’ll talk about whatever is rattling around in that beautiful brain of yours.”
Well, shit. He’s good.
He stands from the bed and reaches out a hand. “Let’s get in the shower.”
Taking his hand while he beams at me like this, I can’t remember a time when I was more comfortable. I notice he’s staring at my thigh, so I ask, “What?”
“Just looking at me, running down your thigh, trying to keep it together.” He bites his lip and pulls me to him for a searing kiss.
I try not to blush but this man and his mouth. The one I didn’t know he had? It’s a hell yes for me.
Twenty-Three
Tyson
ThankfullyIhadthefour wheeler at the cabin—the only reason I brought it was so I could plow the path from the fresh snow; I just needed something to do. After checking in with my family, I let them know Blair and I were going to hang out but we’d be back by dinner. They didn’t ask any questions, which is probably best for all of us.
I’m riding back to the cabin after going to the café to pick up coffee and lunch, everything safely tucked in a thermal bag. The snow continues to fall but it’s light and fluffy at this point. The wind whips my cheeks and I can’t help but smile to myself, like a complete cheeseball.
What just happened? What did we just do? What does this mean? The energy sparks under my skin—trying to remember every single detail of my girl the way I had her. There’s a conversation to be had and I’d be nervous if I wasn’t all sex drunk from being with Blair. It was like she had me under some sort of spell. We were both so in sync with one another, not an awkward moment to be found.
And the moment I left her? I was counting down the minutes until I’d be back. She was cuddled up on the couch when I left, a fuzzy blanket around her shoulders as I threw more logs on the fire. Her eyes were hazy and skin was pink from the hot shower, like she was spent. Happy but spent.
I’m in front of the door, bag in hand, and I take a deep, slow breath. Be honest. Tell her the truth. Get it all out in the open. I coach myself up before I walk in. Letting my hand softly hit the door, mostly not to scareher if she didn’t hear me, I swing the door open, thankful for the roaring fire, and see that Blair hasn’t moved.
She sleepily smiles at me as if she just woke up from a nap. Kicking off my snowy boots and taking off my winter layers, I basically skip across the room to give her a kiss. Her hands lightly touch the side of my face when she kisses me back.
I pass out coffees first, both vanilla lattes because my mom was right—I don’t know what they do to make these to die for but there’s some sort of secret in the recipe. Then it’s homemade bagels with cream cheese and a few small salads—obviously there are some treats but those are for later.
Quietly, we eat lunch, stealing glances and smiles throughout. This part feels a little bit like when you’re out with your high school girlfriend for the first time, but I’m chalking that up to this shift—not just a pivot, but a massive change to our relationship. When there are no bagels to nibble on, or caprese salad to eat, we sit back, holding the coffee cups between our hands, looking at each other.
“Do you want to start? Maybe with why you left without saying anything?”
I figured this would happen. I know I have some explaining to do. My stomach pulls thinking about the idea of her worrying about me, how I put her through that, but also the gut wrenching news of her sharing something so personal with Zack and not me.
Her face is soft, lips full and swollen from earlier, and nervousness pulls at me. This is what I convinced myself of—get it all out on the table—I owe it to the both of us. To see if we can really make this work.
“The other night, you were supposed to come over. I had all this takeout waiting for us and you blew me off. It was like, this thing I wanted, that I almost had, was slipping away.” She sits patiently, letting me get the words out. “And then it was Zack telling me about your dad calling.” This is where I lose a bit of my nerve and look down at my hands, clutching the to-gocoffee cup. “He knew and I didn’t. Paired with our kiss in the elevator, it got me. It’s all those things,”
Blair takes a deep breath, rolling her shoulders, and her eyes latch to mine. I swear I can see the reflection of the flames from the fire.
“Ty, I’m…” She looks for the words. “I’m sorry. Me not showing up had everything to do with me, and nothing to do with us.” Blair points between us as we sit on the couch. “And the only reason Zack knew was because I burst into tears in front of him, it was a wrong place, wrong time situation.”
“I thought we told each other everything. You can tell me anything.”
“Well, it’s clear we haven’t told each other… everything.” She tips her head to the bedroom, where we were earlier, jumping into the deep end. A small giggle skates off her lips and I appreciate the joke. “I know I can tell you anything. Honestly, I had no idea what I needed or what to do or who to tell. When you saw me in the hallway, that was the first either of my brothers heard about it and I asked them not to call my mom. It’s this thing that’s weird and massive, and I hate that it showed up—it’s like a cut I keep dipping in lemon juice whenever I think about it.”
Blair’s eyes are glassy and her lower lip wobbles. Fuck. Before I can talk myself out of it, I put the coffee down and move in front of her, hand in her hair, pulling her lips to mine. She kisses me back and I pull away, sitting next to her.
“I only told Zack because he saw me on the verge of a breakdown after a game. Like, I had no choice. Holding it in wasn’t an option.” Her voice cracks and she coughs to try and cover it. “Then the game was awful. I was keeping this thing to myself and I couldn’t do it anymore. I called my brothers when I couldn’t take it. And then you saw me. And then you kissed me. And then you were gone.”
My heart bottoms out at her words, the look on her face. We were both hurt, but in different ways.
“I could’ve come over that night. Could’ve told you what happened. Been honest. I just, it was all more than I could even put together. Almost like I was watching it happen to me, over and over. Not that I was actually living it.” Her shoulders droop and she’s drawn into herself, talking down to her folded legs, unable to look at me.
Fuck. In this moment, I know I was a dick. The realization was murky at first, maybe because I wanted to give myself more credit? Taking something that happened to her, making it about me? That’s what happened. And she didn’t deserve that.
“And then what the hell is happening between us? I just never thought you saw me that way. Me on the team? That makes more sense. I’ve always been one of the guys.” She shrugs, wiping a tear with the back of her hand.
