you all better dress up
kind of nervous this is some hazing thing
embarrass the new kid
I swear, everyone dresses up and follows the theme
Theunansweredtextsabovethis one twist my gut. Things with Tyson have been murky and weird—I hate it. I gave him finger guns when I saw him at walk through like an idiot, and then acted like I didn’t know he was waiting for me after I was lifting in the Cosmos gym. We’ve been acting like acquaintances and not like we’ve known each other for a third of our lives.
To be fair, I fear I’ve fallen into a completely different level of overwhelm. Everything is fine… or maybe I’ve said it enough that I wholeheartedly believe it. Embers and Ashes is in a great spot, but I don’t get to spend as much time there as I’d like. Business has never been better, but I miss it.
It’s where I love to work out, where my body feels the strongest. The Cosmos gym is definitely adequate, but it’s not the same. The time away from my gym, my staff, even my favorite coffee shop is throwing me. Not to mention the new rule I set for myself about staying off the internet. Doom scrolling isn’t any fun when you wind up in a hole that’s talking about you.
My phone buzzes as I put on the devil horns to round out my costume.
“Oooh, this is a direction for the team Halloween party,” Mags croons as her face fills my phone screen.
Propping my phone up, I step back so she can see the entire costume.
“Wait. Are you an egg?”
“I’m a deviled egg.” I gesture down to my full outfit as Mags claps and laughs from a thousand miles away. I think she’s about to play a Women’s Tennis Association tournament in Japan—sometimes your best friend has to work and her job takes her all over the world.
Her laugh is contagious and I tilt my head to the ceiling, my shoulders shaking. “The theme this year is a Punny Halloween. Tyson promised me that everyone plays along.” I take a drink from the coffee cup I’ve refilled maybe one too many times today.
“Well, this is stellar. Grade A costume choice.” She smiles, her face close to the screen. “I’m glad I was able to get a hold of you, and seeing your outfit is a definite bonus.”
My chest squeezes knowing I’ve not been able to take a FaceTime from her in what feels like weeks. I know she doesn’t hold it against me, but it’s one of those things that makes me feel off kilter. Maggie feels like a staple that helps keep me together.
“I know. I can’t seem to get my footing.”
Maggie shakes her head. “You and Tyson still acting like you didn’t talk about kissing the other night?” I can feel her side-eye all the way in America.
“Yes. Complete avoidance. An effective tactic, if I do say so myself.”
“Any thoughts about what you meant?” Her words are pointed, in the sharp way they tend to get when she’s asking me questions about Tyson. She never pushes too hard, but she knows more than she’d ever let on. And that’s why I love her the way I do.
“No, not really.”
Lie.
Did I fixate about the fact he had my favorite type of pajamas delivered to his place? After he ordered all my favorite foods? Yes and yes. More often than I’d admit to anyone. But I’m also going over the part where I talked about him kissing me and he did absolutely nothing. It’s all jumbled and on top of each other. He’s one of the most thoughtful people I’ve ever had the chance to know, and he can make you feel like you’re the only person in a room even if it’s wall to wall crowded.
But maybe I’m truly one of the guys. He doesn’t look at me like someone he could fall in love with. The things he does for me, he does for everyone, in one way or another.
“And even if I did, I’ll tell you when it’s the wrong time to have conversations like this… when you work together. In one of the most public ways.”
Truth.
Mags nods her head in understanding. “I get that. But you can’t walk around it forever. Something's gotta give, eventually, right?”
“Let’s just hope it’s not when I’m dressed up like a fucking deviled egg at an NFL team party because that would be a special type of torture.”
Tysonofferedtopickme up but I pretended like I didn’t see his message until it was too late. I’m not avoiding him—well, maybe I am—but I’m just hoping for a few minutes to get my head on straight.
I was so preoccupied with what I was going to say to Tyson that I sort of walked into Zack’s like I’d been here a hundred times before. The stress and nerves of showing up to a teammate’s house for the first time were nowhere to be found.
Looking around, relief hits my shoulders and shrinks me down to my appropriate height when I see everyone following the punny theme. I see players dressed like an F-Bomb, a pig in a blanket, and even Fifty Shades of Gray by putting paint chips on a black shirt.
