“What kind of supplies did you get?” I ask.
Holland starts pulling things from bags. “We’ve got gas for the generator, in case the power goes out. Plus extra groceries, batteries, bottled water, and then the real essentials.” He rests his hands on his hips, golden eyes catching mine.
I watch as he pulls out a new blanket, a couple bottles of wine, bags of sour candy, and a puzzle. My face must give me away because then Holland explains, “When we were younger, if there was ever bad weather coming, my mom would always get us a new puzzle. It’s a longstanding Holt family tradition.”
My heart warms—like it always does—when Holland shares pieces of his childhood. I know it’s hard for him to talk about what it was like when Hazel was around, but he shares stories like this every once in a while. It’s a little odd to hear when we’re sort of dancing around the fight we had earlier—the need to pick up the conversation hangs heavy in the air.
“I love that,” I reply before putting my hands on the new blanket, feeling the plush fabric beneath my fingers. “Anything else we need to do?”
“Not really. Everything is good at the lodge and we should be all set here. I can make dinner and then we can continue our discussion, if that works for you.” Holland seems unsure as he offers his suggestion, his voice trailing off at the end.
“That sounds like a plan,” I say, as I start putting groceries away.
I still don’t know what I’m going to say, so I’ll take all the time I can.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Holland
Did I make peanutbutter bacon cheeseburgers for dinner? Yes. Was it because I feel guilty? Also yes. I know there’s nothing I can do to change how this happened, but I can show Ivy all the ways I know and care about her.
We both sit on the leather couch, the new blanket across our laps. Typically, Ivy would practically be in my lap, but we both left space between us.
Ivy breaks the silence. “Is there anything else you want to share about this whole thing? Any reason you want to or don’t want to move forward with the offer? Anything you meant to say and didn’t?”
I take a few seconds, thinking about what she’s asking. She’s giving me the opportunity to lay all my cards out on the table.
“At first, I was skeptical. I truly didn’t think I’d be interested at all. But, when I saw the amount of money, and how I’d keep this and the land surrounding it, that’s when it changed. I wasn’t lying when I said the lodge is doing well financially, but with that amount of money, that could change our lives.”
“What about our life do you want to change?” She gives nothing away with her voice level and clear.
“It’s not that anything is wrong with it, I’m just pointing out that it would give us the opportunity. We could travel. Find where we want toput our roots down. You could quit your job, try something new.” I list the things that went through my brain when I saw the amount of money they were offering. That, coupled with my healthy savings, would go a long way.
“Do you think I don’t want to work?” Ivy’s brows are scrunched.
“No, I’m just saying it could be an option. You’re good at your job but it’s also stressful and demanding, plus there’s just some baggage there.”
“You’re not wrong but I want to work. No part of my brain has ever really thought about not working. Especially with my set up at Sparks now, it’s flexible and lets me take on as much as I want,” Ivy reassures me. “Somedays the baggage is annoying but not enough for me to leave. Wouldn’t that mean Jack and Royce won? I don’t want them to win. I want to win.” Her hand sits on her chest.
Fuck. How does she do that? She always seems to know exactly what she wants.
“Do you hate not having an office? I know there’s not a ton of space here.” I look around the space, the one I love.
“No, I’ve never wished for anything other than what’s here. I love this space and it’s perfect for us.” She puts her hand on my leg, squeezing. “After reading through everything, I was much more relieved. Like, this is favorable to you, and the place you’ve helped thrive. I don’t want to ever give this up. But if you want to give up some of the pressure, I’ll support you.”
“What would you do?” I’m looking for anyone to give me a tip, direction.
“You know I can’t answer that. I’m here to contribute but this isn’t a decision for me. Given you could stay at the lodge, working like you have been, and we could live here, that’s what’s important to me. What’simportant to you?” She asks in a way that I know she’s not looking for a response but for me to think.
What’s important to me? Ivy. Slate. Hazel’s legacy, which is the lodge. My family. This just makes things more confusing because all those things play into the thing we’re talking about.
“This isn’t an easy decision and I’m sure you’ll go back and forth. It looks like they don’t want to connect until January. Is there a hard deadline?”
“No. They basically said they could give me as much time as I need, but to let them know the second I’m not interested anymore.”
Just another reason I’m impressed with Greater When Green. They honestly have been supportive of me coming to a decision on the timeline that works best for me. I know that’s not always the case.
“Okay, well, there’s no need to try and solve it tonight, right?”
