“What is happening?” he asks.
“Never heard someone tell me I had a beautiful brain,” I giggle before I can cover my mouth. “It’s like my brain can’t compute the phrase.”
“Here’s what I think we should do,” Holland stands, grabbing the papers from the ottoman. “I’m going to give these to you, plus the email thread from some questions I had. I want you to take the time to read and process what’s here, and then we can talk.”
“Woah, your therapy is showing.” I try not to let my mouth hang open because I literally couldn’t think of a better way to pause this discussion to make it more productive.
“I have some running around to do quickly. Not to freak you out or anything but looks like snow is coming. They always predict much more than we get but it’s always better to be prepared.”
My stomach drops. I recognize it’s because I’m caught off guard.
“I’m going to check on the lodge and then I’ll go to the store and be back here before you know it. Sound good?”
“Yes. Sounds good. Do you have another copy of this or is this like it?”
“I have the file in my email, so if you want to take it in the bath, completely fine.”
I’m still upset about this whole thing but one thing is clear: Holland knows me, down to my bones.
It's hard to say no to a bubble bath.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Holland
Once I’m in thetruck, I rest my forehead on the steering wheel. I need a few seconds.
I close my eyes and put my hand on my chest, needing to make sure I’m not going into panic attack territory. I felt much more confident when I was with Ivy, because my mind had something to do. Now, the interaction comes back in pieces—I don’t fight it.
My stomach drops when I think of the look on Ivy’s face, when she explained how finding those papers made her question if I still loved, or wanted, her. I hate that this is one of the first things she puts on herself when something like this happens. It’s almost like a programmed piece in the woman I love, and in this moment, all I want to do is my very best to not ever put her in that position again.
No more secrets. Not only for her, but for me. This whole thing could end up being positive, but the way I went about it only made everything feel dark and like a potential enemy.
I take in a deep breath, hold, and exhale. The sound of the heavy rain, and what sounds like some ice, hitting the truck help me relax.
Ice. Fuck.
I open the weather app for an update. My phone screen turns red, the banner at the top scrolling with both a winter weather and blizzard warning. When I view the radar, it’s obvious we’ll get snow but it won’tstart for another few hours. I’m confident I have time to check in with Bea before going into town to get supplies.
I put the truck in drive as I head back to the lodge. Even if Mackenzie is all over this, I want to check in and make sure there’s nothing I can help with.
One of the major upgrades Hazel completed at the lodge was for storms like this. She redid some of the electrical work, running it underground, to help keep power outages to a minimum. If it does go out, there’s some ridiculously high-tech generators and things to keep the lodge powered, to an extent. There have only been a handful of times the power has went out, since I’ve taken over, and it was never for more than an hour.
When I walk into the lobby, I see Bea directing someone with extra blankets. When we get snow, we always hand out these plush, almost velvet, blankets to the rooms. Typically, it’s an ambience thing, but if we get as much snow as they’re predicting, we want to make sure everyone is comfortable.
“Holland, hope you have a sled for Slate!” she jokes as soon as she sees me.
“How’s it going?” I ask, taking in the scene around me.
“Great! Mackenzie has the staff bringing in extra wood for all the fireplaces in the common areas. We did some rearranging, putting as many spots in those areas in case we do lose power,” Bea says and I can’t help but smile at the snowflake headband she’s wearing.
“That’s a really good idea,” I reply as the staff moves around us, not panicking, but getting things done. I love that all of this started happening without me telling anyone to do it.
“We did an extra food run. Chef has been cooking, and baking, all day. Premade meals and snacks are ready, in case we need them,” she explains and I breathe in the smell of fresh bread.
“Don’t forget to grab all the cards and board games, put those in the shared areas.” The worst part when anyone loses power is they don’t know what to do with themselves. When their phones die, it’s like no one knows how to act.
Bea nods and writes something down on a sticky note. “I think we’re all good here. You ready at your place?”
