Her heartbeat races against my skin until it finally slows down as she drifts to sleep.
Chapter Forty-Five
AFTER BREAKFAST—courtesy of Holland—and a morning walk with Slate, I can already go for a nap. Holland had to run to the lodge but wanted to make sure I’d be okay here. He’s been sweet and exactly what I need.
Holland didn’t ask me a bunch of questions or try to get me to talk about anything. I’m thankful for that.
I’m also thankful for his couch, which holds me like a hug. It’s way better than the one in my apartment. A headache pounds behind my eyes. Oh, the aftereffects of emotional turmoil. I know I need to call Stella. And Vivian.
The nap I desperately needed is cut short by my ringing phone. Slate barks at the interruption. It’s Jack. Against my better judgment, I answer.
“Ivy, what the hell happened?!” He sounds frantic.
Even though we’re not together anymore, we were for years. I want to give him the chance to talk to me if Stella told him what happened.
“I’m okay, Jack. It’s okay.”
“It is fucking NOT okay! Royce said you sabotaged the meeting.”
My mouth hangs open. Did he call to scold me? Before my brain can catch up, he’s raising his voice again.
“You blew it. How’d you manage to do that? I handed this to you ona silver platter.” I can almost hear him angrily pacing through the phone.
“You’re joking, right?”
“No, this isn’t a joke. You screwed my promotion, your promotion, all of it.”
“Royce is garbage. He’s the one who forced himself on me, and in a public place. I begged him to stop!” Now I’m yelling.
“Quit with the dramatics. You’re not a child,” he says, more condescending than usual. “There’s no way Royce did that. You’re acting like he assaulted you.”
Why did I assume he was calling to check on me as a compassionate person of the human race? Jack isn’t capable of caring about anyone besides himself. I keep setting him up for redemption and it’s never coming.
“He did assault me,” I say. It hurts me to say these words aloud. They don’t feel real on my lips. I’m angry I have to say them. My heart hurts at the same time.
Holland walks in and sees me screaming into my cell phone. His face is one of concern and confusion. He sits next to me and mouths, “Are you okay?”
I shake my head no.
“You’re telling me Royce had sex with you against your will?” Jack’s voice is sarcastic and shrill. It even pulls into a cruel laugh at the end.
“I didn’t say that. He put his hand down my shirt and pushed me against a wall. Who knows what he would’ve done if someone wouldn’t have walked in on us?”
“Whatever. That contract extension was going to fund my new position, your new position, and finally make it to where we don’t have to work together anymore. When Royce called—”
“Wait… Royce called you?” This means Stella hasn’t talked to him about it. Weird how Royce is immediately keeping Jack in the know.
“Yes! To tell me how dramatic you are. He was trying to help you. Can’tyou see that?” He’s loud enough I need to pull the phone from my ear. Holland can obviously hear him. “And since you’re literally a killer when it comes to business ventures, you can get back to the office ASAP. We can work it out here.”
I hate that I’m crying right now. I don’t want to waste another ounce of energy on Jack or Royce. They’ve taken enough.
My mouth is still open. For once, I’m at a loss of words. I have no idea what to say to someone who is so misguided.
Holland lightly places two fingers under my chin, which is almost touching my chest. He looks at me in this way that makes me want to sit up tall. He doesn’t say anything, just nods.
I realize how Jack was making me shrink into myself, yet again. This time, for a despicable act that was nowhere near my fault. Jack has received too many chances, especially from me.
I make my voice as calm as possible and simply respond, “No.”
