Royce drops his pen, reaches his hand across the table, and grabs mine. I should’ve put my hands in my lap. Or something. Anything.
He rubs the palm of my hand with his fingers. My nerves tingle and prick. His touch is slimy and disgusting.
I’m frozen. A statue. I’m unable to move or form a thought.
“You know I could give you whatever you want,” he murmurs, his smile too wide. “Wherever you want it.” He winks at me. “Take you anywhere.”
Everything is moving too slowly and like it’s sped up, at the same time. He lets go of my hand and instead, touches my face. His palm is sweaty and too warm. My breath catches in my throat. Sirens are going off in my head.
I keep waiting for him to stop and throw his head back in a cackle, that this is all this a joke. That he’s just messing with me.
We’re in a public place—well sort of. I wish there were other people here. My heart lurches when I think of the mostly empty restaurant I walked through.
“Royce,” I say as I stand up, flustered, trying to get away from him. Even a little space would help. I’m clumsy and some pages fall to the floor. On instinct, I reach down to pick them up. If I focus on this task, maybe he’ll get the hint.
“Don’t worry about that right now.”
He’s crouched down to my level. He takes his hands and puts them around my arms, lifting me up as he stands. The papers I picked up leave my hands and float to the floor.
I’m afraid to breathe or say anything. Meanwhile, Royce is wearing a grin and is still way too close to me.
“I’ve wanted to do this for so long.” He tips his head back in anticipation. He steps into me, touching his chest to mine. He takes his hands and lightly touches the top of my forehead before he brushes them down the side of my face.
Wrong.
This is wrong.
Alarm bells scream.
Red flags are flying.
I take my free hand and push against his chest. Instead of creating any space, he grabs my wrist and walks me backwards until my back hits the wall. He’s being rough. He’s holding my wrist—gripping tight and unrelenting—above my head. It smacks the wall when it makes contact.
“Come on. I know I’m what you want.” He takes my head and leans in, whispering into my ear. Smelling my skin before kissing my neck and then my collarbone.
My body shakes. My teeth chatter. I’m lightheaded, unable to take a real breath. My vision is blurry. The tears are silent but flowing.
“Royce, stop. Please stop.” My voice is barely a whisper. I’m surprised at the sound of it.
“You don’t want me to stop.” He’s still smiling.
The hand not pinning my arm up grazes my collarbone and then right at the top of my bra.
Royce forcefully puts his mouth to mine. His mouth is rough and stale. He’s pinning me in place. I’m stuck between him and the wall.
I know I can do better than this.
I squirm, shaking my head from one side to another. Royce’s mouth follows me. I get a little space but then he slams me into the wall, still holding my wrist and my elbow banging into the surface.
I must do something.
Otherwise…
Otherwise…
I can’t think of what will happen otherwise.
I bang my elbow into the wall again. I yell at him to stop, but his mouth covers mine. It’s nothing but weird sounds. I try to knee him in the groin, but he catches my knee before I make contact.
