This makes me uneasy, and she knows it.
“There’s this massive world with all sorts of people and places. I hate to be the annoying cliché, but sometimes the universe puts us on specific paths. Think about it—Jack could’ve harassed Royce to have this thing anywhere, but he chose here.”
The words flow off her tongue like she’s been considering this for a while. She’s confident and effortless in sharing her opinion, showing how much she cares for me, no matter how tough the conversation is.
And again, she’s right. I could’ve been stuck anywhere, but here I am. It’s a lot to take in. Especially because the disaster of Jack over-stepping has kind of turned into a wonderful experience.
“You’re not wrong.” I surrender this part of the conversation. I wrap her in the tightest hug. We hold onto one another in the lobby, swaying like it’s a slow dance.
“Any other wise words?” I ask, tears in the corner of my eyes.
“I feel like a cliché even saying this”—she takes a deep breath—“I wish you could see the way he looks at you.” She pauses, for a long second, before pulling me into a hug.
“That must’ve been hard… you really do hate clichés.” I laugh into her shoulder, savoring these last few moments of us together.
She blows me a kiss and is out the door. Viv never lingers. I stand in the lobby, tears and all, until she’s out of sight.
When she’s gone, I take my coffee and slip into a massive chair, in the corner of the lobby sitting area. It faces the window with my back to the lobby. There’s no one talking or being noisy in the connecting hallways or check-in area.
A week ago, this was something that would prick my skin and make me put in my headphones. Always running from the quiet. Not today. I do my best—no matter that it’s a bit uncomfortable—and take it in. I sip my coffee and think.
First, the tarot cards. Well, the Death card specifically. Nothing like a nice jolt of panic while you’re getting a little introspective. I’d be lying if I wasn’t intrigued by the idea of change. Not sure how that fits with my desire to control absolutely everything possible. Something has to give.
And about what Viv said.“I wish you could see the way he looks at you…”
I do see it. Or I think I do.
The question is, am I willing to risk it?
Chapter Thirty-Seven
I’M FUCKING EXHAUSTED. I can’t remember the last time I was up all night. My brain wouldn’t turn off. Hopping from one thought to the next on an endless loop.
The coffee brews in my French press and the smell is the only thing keeping me going.
My phone is face down on the kitchen table. It looks like it doesn’t belong there, out in the open. I grab it and go to my text messages. There are only four conversations to choose from but the one I want is at the top.
I tap on Ivy’s name, opening the last message, and I freeze. The revelation hits me like a punch to the stomach.
I can’t get enough of her. When we’re together, I’m relishing in the sound of her laugh, the sight of her green eyes, and terrified at her ability to make me want to share. It’s almost like I need her to know me. I want to share everything. And when we’re not together, I’m wondering how we’ll see each other next, or I’m itching to text her.
The phone in my hand is proof. Before I met her, I’d rather throw it in the river and now I’m wondering what to text Ivy. Is it too soon to text?
She came out of nowhere. This feeling, running around in my chest is hot. So massive it barely fits.
I want her. And not just for a few more days.
Fucking scary. This is terrifying.
How do I do this?CanI do this?
I worked from the shipping area today. If I would have seen Bea, she’d know something was going on. She’d then make it her personal mission to get me to spill my guts. I’m tired enough to know I don’t have it in me to go toe-to-toe with her.
I brought my laptop down here, left my cell phone in my office, and made it look like I was busy enough so no one would bother me. Worked like a charm.
To be honest, I finished any actual work within an hour or two and just took up space for the rest of the day. I pretended to work and instead, my mind jumped from one thought to the next.
The thought of accidentally bumping into Ivy before I’m ready, was a great motivator to sort of stay hidden. Not until I sort out what I’m going to do next.
