“I absolutely can do that.”
As soon as I sit in a booth, in front of a massive window, I pause. I don’t know if this counts as a soothing moment, but I’m immensely grateful. The thought and effort Bea put into this list may have been minimal, but itmeans something to me.
The sun is shining, glittering off the water in the distance. Truly, this is beautiful. I’m not someone who is eager to be outside, but these views don’t suck.
The people also don’t suck. My heart twinges at the thought of leaving this place and going back home. This is an example of a surprise which didn’t turn out to be horrible. I’m thankful for the slow days and new experiences, like hiking. I’m not in Salem but Viv will still come to see me. Plus, I had the opportunity to meet Holland. And Slate.
But Holland.
How will I leave Holland?
I feel like a teenager. It was one night and we didn’t even sleep together. There’s no way I can be developing real feelings for someone this fast. Right?
The anxious wave in my chest tells me I’m wrong. I am. I did. And it’s going to hurt. I’ve never been this person. Everyone I’ve dated has always been calculated; I only pursued people I knew who were already interested. It was more about me saying “yes” than anything else.
What should I do? Does it matter? Holland and I fooled around when I was drunk but that doesn’t tell me a whole lot. I wish I knew what he was thinking.
Instead of anticipating the sadness that will come with leaving this place behind, I focus on something good. I order lunch, take Bea an iced tea, and make calls to schedule activities for Viv and I.
Chapter Thirty-Two
I MAKE IT THREE steps into the lodge before Bea mentions Ivy.
“You missed your hiking buddy,” she jokes with me.
“Has her friend checked in yet?” I ask like I don’t know said friend’s name.
“She should be here around six. The rental car is being charged to our account at the airport. And before you ask, I gave her the adjoining room and already comped it.”
“Thanks.” When all else fails, just say thank you.
When I overheard Ivy booking Vivian’s room, I started researching some activities they might think were fun. I’m by no means a spooky sister or really grasp what the hell that really means, but I get the overall idea. I called around, found some availability for when she’s here, and had Bea share it with Ivy.
Honestly, I thought it’d be more acceptable from Bea. I don’t want her to infer that I’m overinvested.
Taking care of the room and car rental is no big deal. I’ve covered less for guests. The amount that Ivy dropped at the gift shop was enough to give her a free room. Or that’s what I keep telling myself.
It has nothing to do with a laugh that brings me to my knees. Or howher green eyes dare to see right through me. Or her perfect fucking mouth.
Bea is staring at me with that look. The one where she wants to say something, but she wants me to read her mind and bring it up instead. I won’t break.
She sighs. “Ivy was awfully excited about the list of things for her to do. She almost started to cry in the lobby.”
“Yeah, she does that.” I’m thinking of her big glassy eyes I’ve seen more than once.
“Holland.” Bea faces me and says my name like an inquisitive parent.
“Beatrice.” I match her name game, shuffling the random papers in my hands.
She rolls her eyes.
She closes the distance, takes the papers, and sets them on the desk. All so she can grab one of my hands.
“Holland,” she says slowly and quietly without breaking eye contact. Her hands are gentle. Caring.
I look down because I’m not quite sure what to do. My throat is tight.
“Ivy seems like a good one.” I bet she feels my body tense. “I can’t remember the last time you smiled like this or went out of your way to make plans… like shopping and hiking. And an entire itinerary of things for her to do with a friend.”
