Leopard print and otters are his definitions of fun
He hasnicearms.
We’re almost back to the lodge when I notice the sky. The sun is about to set and it’s stunning. My chin rests on my hands as I lean forward to the windshield, trying to get a better look.
I can feel Holland’s eyes on me. My skin prickles and heart picks up. I love that he’s looking at me.
“This is something the city doesn’t have.” I continue to stare up through the windshield.
Holland nods and stares ahead. From the side, it looks like he’s fighting a grin.
“Do you have somewhere to be or do you have time for a detour?” Holland asks.
“Definitely have time.”
It’s a few minutes before Holland parks. When I step out of the truck, Holland’s already there, his hand out to help me out of the truck.
“Come with me.” He gestures for me to follow.
We walk in comfortable silence. Holland leads us to an opening in the trees. It’s like the forest abruptly stops and we’re standing just past it. It’s all mountains, lush bunches of trees far out on the skyline, and a cotton candy sky for as far as my eyes can see. Trying to capture the beauty in front of me, I take a few pictures with my phone. I know they’ll never do the real thingjustice. It’s remarkable.
With the sun going down, a breeze, and fluffy clouds, I pause and take it in. Smell the dirt and trees. Stare at the scene in front of me. It’s so beautiful it doesn’t feel real.
I sneak a look at Holland and he’s standing so still, his eyes closed, and his chest rising and falling with deep breaths. His shoulders are strong but relaxed. He looks peaceful. Content. His lips turn up a tad at the corner.
He opens his eyes and catches me taking him in.
“Want to know something?” he asks, pretending I wasn’t awkwardly staring at him. The definition of a true gentleman.
I do want to know something. Alarming how much I want to know.
“I try to get out here once a day, at sunrise or sunset.” He looks around the space, avoiding my eyes. “It’s pretty, but that’s not the only reason why.” He shifts from one foot to the other. “My sister taught me this thing. At first, I thought it was stupid but she called them soothing moments. And you basically stop and take in what’s around you.” He sounds unsure of himself, voice trailing.
That is not what I thought he was going to say. It doesn’t sound stupid at all. It sounds lovely.
“Just like we’re doing now.” His eyes peel up from the ground and lock on mine. The peaceful look from a few seconds ago shifts and he looks kind of sad. He fidgets and I get the feeling this is a part of himself he may not share often. I try my best to thank and reassure him with my own look. He makes me want to wrap him up in a hug, chest to chest.
I close my eyes and do box breathing, like I do when I’m trying to go to sleep. Instead of focusing on heavy limbs, my ears reach for the sounds around me. The wind gives me goosebumps. I realize I can smell the salt water and smoke in the distance.
When I open my eyes, I feel an immense wave of gratitude. Or maybe it’s awareness. My body is trying to capture this moment to take me back tolater. My eyes behold the sky, still painted pinks, lavenders, and blues. The sun—closer to its set—is still burning orange.
Holland and I stand with our shoulders inches apart. My skin buzzes with being so close. The sun falls behind a mountain, a little at first and then all at once.
I want to thank him for this. All of it. My hand falls to my side. I realize I’m holding my breath and blood pounds in my ears. The rhythm is heavy and getting faster.
Looping my pinky with his, I let out a slow breath when he doesn’t pull away.
Holland doesn’t look at me right away. He squeezes my pinky with his before slowly catching my gaze. My skin tingles from the unexpected reaction. The wind has picked up and blows through his hair. Even with the coolness in the air, it feels hot, and I feel like my entire body is covered in goosebumps. With my pulse thudding in my ears, my breath is hard to find.
“Thank you. For all of this. This was one of the best days I’ve had in a while.” I’m intentional with my words—wanting him to hear me. “And I know that’s something people just say, but I mean it.” My own hair circles around me. What would it be like for Holland to take his hands and use them to pull my head closer to his? So that our noses almost touch, his eyes—intense and dark—looking for mine.
His response is a nod, with the faintest of grins. It’s nothing and more than that. We’re still holding pinkies like we’re in elementary school, but my skin pricks and tingles. There’s some sort of pull here.
