“Breathe, Char.” She takes a breath in through her nose and out through her mouth. I mirror her breathing technique and after a few breaths, I feel myself calm down the slightest bit.
Liv reaches down and grabs my bag I must’ve dropped when I was losing my mind and slings it over her shoulder.
“Let’s go get some pasta and figure this out.”
It’s after eleven by the time I tiptoe into my hotel room after spilling my guts to Liv.
We sat together for nearly two hours going over the different scenarios of how Connor might react.
After hashing it out we came to one conclusion: He’ll either get over it or he won’t. But that’s not on me.
What I thought was just a physical attraction to Luke is much more than that. When Liv questioned if this was just sex, I surprised myself when I hesitated.
I may have convinced myself that’s all this was going to be but when Liv made me really dig deeper to see if my attraction was more, I realized it is. It’s so much fucking more.
Luke has always been kind. He’d come to my games in middle school and high school with Connor and I thought it was just because my brother dragged him there.
But now that we’re here in Sweden, I think he came to those games because he wanted to. He has been to all three of my games, the last two without his teammates. Throughout the game I’ll glance to where he’s sitting in the stands, alwaysa few rows off the glass, and almost every time he’s looking at me, not the players on the ice.
The way he holds me every night as I fall into a peaceful sleep, to the way he has breakfast waiting for me in bed every morning…I’m beginning to realize that this might be more than just sex.
For both of us.
I’ve never wanted to spend more than just a night with a guy. There’s been no connection outside of sex. Sue me, but relationships have never been appealing to me. I have hockey. I have Liv. I thought that’s all I needed for now.
Except as I finish getting ready for bed in the bathroom, it occurs to me that I’m already dreading leaving Sweden.
Leaving Luke.
I want to trace circles on his stomach after he gives me two orgasms every night. I want to run my fingers through his hair first thing in the morning as I kiss him, despite having morning breath.
The realization hits me like a freight train.
For the first time in my life, I wantmore.
Charlie has been in the bathroom for about ten minutes now. After the way we left things at the arena, I’m worried.
I’m worried she’s having doubts about what’s going on between us. I’m worried she’s going to end things before her brother gets here. I’m worried my time with her is coming to an end.
I know I was the one who hesitated and questioned if this is one big mistake. And I know it’s only been a few fucking days. But it hasn’t. It’s beenyearsof this woman consuming my every thought. It’s been years of hoping I’ll run into her when I’m in Minnesota, even though the chances are fucking slim.
And now that we’ve crossed that line, I don’t want to go back.
I can’t go back.
The door of the bathroom finally opens and my heart starts pounding with each step she takes toward the bed.
Sex with Charlie has been amazing. No, it’s been life-altering. There has never been, and will never be, anyone that comes close to making me feel the way Charlie does. Whatever is happening between us is damn good. It’sright.
Charlie slips into bed quietly. Instead of rolling over anddraping her body over mine like she normally does, she stays on her back.
I wait, hoping she’ll slide to my side of the bed, but after two minutes of no movement, I decide to be the one who makes a move.
I scoot over until my body is pressed against her side and gently push a strand of her curly hair out of her face.
“Hi.”
She turns her head and with the faint light of the moon sneaking through the cracks of the curtains, I can see a small smile paint her lips.
