He may want me but he’s made it clear that nothing will be happening here.
Not wanting to face the humiliation and awkward conversation that is bound to happen after I just threw myself at him, I click the lights off and slide under the covers on my side of the bed.
Turning so my back is to where he’ll be sleeping, I close my eyes and try to calm my pounding heart.
Why is he fighting this? We’re both adults. We can make our own decisions. Yeah, my brother is his best friend but so what? That’s not a good enough excuse. I’m not a child anymore.
The longer Luke takes in the bathroom, the more frustrated I get.
By the time he makes his way to the bed, I’m ready to give him a piece of my mind.
I wait for him to slide under the covers before rolling over to face him.
His gorgeous face is illuminated by his phone that he holds up in front of him. I take a moment to drink in his profile. His jawline is a work of art, just visible beneath the five o'clock shadow that darkens his face. I’m tracing the line to his lips when he turns to look at me.
“Stop staring.”
I prop myself up on my elbow and rest my head in my hand, ignoring his command.
“Ya know, something I’ve always loved about you is how fearless you are.”
Luke abandons his phone next to him on the bed and rolls over onto his side, mirroring my position. His biceps bulge from the position his arm is in but after a quick glance, I focus on his face again.
His eyebrow quirks at my remark. “What are you talking about?”
“I heard what everyone said about you for choosing curling over hockey. Curling isn’t the sexiest or most aggressive sport. You never cared. You were brave enough to go after a dream no one understood. Which is why I’m so surprised you’re scared right now.”
“Scared?” His voice raises a bit as if it’s the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard.
“Yeah. I don’t know what you’re afraid of. You want me just as bad as I want you. If your eyes didn’t give you away, the bulge in your pants earlier sure did.”
Luke scrubs a hand down his face. “Jesus, Charlie.”
I throw my hand out, my frustration getting the best of me. “What? Don’t even try to tell me it’s not true, Luke. What’s the big deal? We’re adults who want the same thing.”
He pinches the bridge of his nose before finally looking at me again.
“It’s not a good idea. You know it’s not.”
Except I don’t.
“Actually, I don’t think it’s a bad idea at all. We’re both stressed the fuck out. The pressure of the Olympics is damn near drowning me. And I know you feel the same pressure. There’s a reason the Olympics have such a reputation. We need an outlet. What’s so wrong with finding an outlet with each other?”
Luke seems to consider my words for a moment, but justas a sliver of hope grows in my chest, it vanishes when I see him shake his head.
“It’s more complicated than that. Your brother?—”
I cut him off before he can finish his sentence. “I’m going to stop you right there. Connor has nothing to do with this. He has his own shit to worry about and honestly, who the fuck cares what he thinks?”
“I care, Charlie. He’s my best friend. He was there when no one else was. You don’t know what it was like.”
His words trail off and he doesn’t need to elaborate. I know where he was going with that. He doesn’t have to say it. He may not have noticed but I was there too. The day he came to our house in tears his senior year. I was outside the door of my brother’s bedroom listening to him sob when his sister passed away.
Of course he wouldn’t want to risk that friendship. But I really don’t think he’d lose my brother.
Reaching out, I place my hand on his. “I know. I’m sorry. I would never want to put your friendship in jeopardy but I really doubt you’d lose my brother over something like this.”
“You don’t know that.”
