Avery
Iwoke up alone and tried to ignore the sinking feeling in my gut while I got out of bed. I knew Kellan and I still had some issues to work out, but I thought we’d made some progress the night before.
I tried to mask my disappointment with a fake smile and went downstairs to make breakfast for my family. “Morning, Mommy,” Riley said excitedly.
“Good Morning. What’s all over your face?”
Riley smiled proudly and shook her head. “I can’t tell you. It’s a secret.”
“Breakfast is ready,” Braxton mumbled sleepily.
I walked into the kitchen to find nothing less than a feast on the table. “Morning, sweetness. The kids and I made breakfast,” Kellan smiled.
“Surprise!” Riley shouted.
“Oh, well, thank you. This is a nice surprise.”
“We have another surprise for you,” my dad said as he and my mother walked into the kitchen.
“You can walk!” I blurted.
“I’m getting there,” she said with a smile.
“That’s wonderful!” I beamed.
“All right, everyone, dig in,” Kellan announced.
The kids inhaled their breakfast and ran off to play. Both of them still had toys they’d yet to open from Christmas.
“Any plans for today?” my mother asked knowingly.
Kellan wiped his mouth with a napkin as he nodded his head. “Yes, Avery and I need to take care of something after we see Sienna. Do you mind watching the kids for a few hours this afternoon?”
Mom smiled. “Of course not. It’s not like I’m going anywhere.”
“You will be soon. I can’t believe you walked into the kitchen this morning,” I said and tried to hide the hint of sadness in my voice. I hadn’t realized how much I missed having my parents close by, but after having them around for the past few months, I didn’t want them to go.
“Well, I still have a ways to go before I’m back to my old self,” Mom said with a wink. I had the feeling she was up to something, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.
I got up to start clearing the table, but Kellan took the plate from my hand. “Go ahead and start getting ready. I’ll take care of the dishes.” It hadn’t escaped my notice that he’d already taken care of the dishes from the night before.
“Thank you,” I said softly and kissed his cheek.
While I was in the shower, my mind was flooded with thoughts. I had an idea of what we were doing after our visit with Sienna, but a large part of me was trying to ignore the possibility.
A few hours later, when Kellan turned onto an achingly familiar road, I could no longer ignore it. “I probably should have talked to you about this first, but I didn’t want you to have time to dread it.”
“That was a smart move. Because I would have dreaded it and probably found some way to get out of it, or at least delay it.”
“I know, sweetness. But this needs to happen. You and I both know that,” he said and gently caressed my cheek. “I’ll wait right here and give you some time to yourself.”
“Thank you,” I whispered. With a deep breath, I got out and walked toward Ian’s headstone.
Surprisingly, my nerves and anxiety vanished by the time I reached him. I ran my fingers over the smooth marble and carefully sat down so I could continue to trace his name while I spoke.
“Ian,” I breathed. “Why didn’t you tell me? Never mind, I know why you didn’t. It’s been hard for me since you’ve been gone. I was left with all these unanswered questions and emotions I didn’t know how to deal with. And just when I thought I was going to be okay, I found out the truth about Mark. I wanted to be pissed at you. Well, I was pissed at you, but after the initial shock of it all, I was hurt and confused…and I felt guilty. Because I’ve opened my heart to another man, and I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, but that was so much easier to do when I was mad at you. And then my reason for being mad at you was taken away and reality hit me hard.”
“You know I’ve always believed things happen for a reason, even when they’re hard to accept. And somewhere along the way, I forgot about that. But, through the help of some new friends and a lot of soul-searching, I’m starting to see how the pieces are coming together for me and our family.”
