“I hate that I want you, that I need you, that I am consumed with your scent, the feel of your body, the way you taste.” His voice dipped low at the mention of this.
“Do you like my mind? My ideals? My beliefs? Because if those things aren’t on the list then you don’t even like me.” I’ve had men covet my body and beauty all of my life, that’s the reason why I’ve never dated anyone.
“Worst of all, I adore who you are and I say the worst because loving that part of you makes me hate myself a little. I’m your polar opposite and that fact stabs like a knife. Yes, I’m the Grinch to your Santa Claus ... Santa Claudia, I guess and I hate that I can’t be a better man for you.” Wow, that’s a lot.
“Why not?”
“Because my heart is three sizes too small, but not my dick.” He winks at me.
I can’t help but laugh. “Okay, that was funny.” I sigh. “And you aren’t open to changing?”
“Are you?” It's a fair question.
“In what way? Do you want me to bulldoze historical buildings so little old ladies are out on the streets?” I sit on the bed and curl my legs under me waiting for an answer.
“I want you to see that when a decrepit building violates health codes it’s not a safe space for anyone.” He counters, debating me.
“And is it more expensive to preserve the architecture of an era, or rip it all down and replace it with a modern building built to save money, time, and energy? Instead of preserving history with a building that was painstakingly created with artistry, you want to homogenize culture and flatline creativity.”
“We are not going to agree on this tonight,” he says. “So the question is, can you kiss a man you don’t agree with?”
“Are you going to just use your money to win at any cost? Because no, I won’t kiss a man who does that.”
“No. I am going to listen to reason, but I’m telling you, it had better be reasonable.”
He looks massive in my small childhood bedroom. Like a giant, or an ogre. I should be terrified, but I’m not. I feel like, despite his size, his money, and his prestige, he’s just a broken guy who is chasing after a dream life he never had.
“And if reason says save the library?” I’m testing him.
“Then I’ll listen to reason.” It isn’t a total win, but I’ll take it.
“Will you ever be impressed by my money?”
I think about my answer for a minute. Would I be impressed that he is a billionaire who sleeps in suites onairplanes? “I wish I was, I guess. I mean you are able to obtain a lot of cool things, but they are just things. I enjoy the stuff money can’t buy like relationships and memories. I guess it can be said that money can pay for experiences that are memorable, but poor people can have those too. Money makes things easier, but people are more important. To me, anyway. I mean no disrespect.” I could see the hurt in his eyes as I weighed the value of money against the importance of relationships.
“If I promise not to give you any money, will you kiss me?” He takes a step closer.
“If you promise to let me show you what is truly valuable, yes, you may.” Because if I have one shot at this, I’m taking it.
He meets me in the middle of my childhood bedroom, pulls me into an embrace and kisses my lips. One slow soft kiss turns into another and another until his mouth opens and I willingly allow myself to get lost.
Marcel Dubois is charming, he’s mature, he’s a billionaire. He’s snowed in my Gran’s house and now he’s getting naked in my bedroom and suddenly my life seems both off kilter and magnificent.
We don’t talk after our kiss, instead he pulls off my sweater and he takes off his, then my skirt and his pants, my bra and underwear and his boxer briefs. Wordlessly, he undresses and when he’s done he pulls me against his naked body and just holds me. We find warmth and comfort in the middle of a storm that feels like it’s isolated us so that we are the only two beings left in the world, even though Gran is downstairs.
“I promised your grandma that I wouldn’t hurt you, Juliet. And I plan on keeping that promise. So, I’m going to make loveto you tonight, but this still isn’t forever. Our wager is on the table. We are going head to head about the library and, on a larger scale, the community project. You promised to show me what you love about it. That is all I’m committing to. Are you good with that?”
Well, he’s frank, I can give him that.
He likes clean lines and clear boundaries with his shady deals. “I am not really that interested in meaningless sex, Marcel, but I am already invested. When you finally walk away from me it will hurt, whether you leave now or a week from now, the pain is already there. So I might as well enjoy the week before it ends.”
And that is the philosophy I’m sticking to.
He’s not going to even consider anything other than a tryst so I’ll just mourn when it’s over tomorrow or a hundred tomorrows from now.
That last day, and the last goodbye is going to suck.
“Very pragmatic.” He lifts me into his arms and takes me to bed.
