“It has to be like ten.” He’s over exaggerating, of course.
I roll my eyes to make a point. “Not ten, eight.” I flash a smile. “I think we should see Big Buckeye Christmas next.” Now its time for him to roll his eyes again, but he loves it. He just has to be a dick because I don’t have any siblings and he’s alwaysthought it was his duty to expose me to the torture I never got the chance to experience.
“Aren’t there any gay ones? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love me some cable knit sweaters, but it’s getting a little old, Jules.” He does have a point, we’ve seen a lot of vanilla Christmas lovin’. Perhaps a light, happy, guys-in-love Christmas delight might shake things up.
“Sure, there’sMy Mountain Christmas Carol. John is a lawyer from New York, he’s having to visit his Grandma for Christmas who is about to lose her sheep farm when strapping Sebastian, Grandma’s farm assistant, comes in with a solution that will save the day.” I read the blurb on the screen next to a promo of a man in a green flannel shirt and another in a cream cable knit sweater and a blazer.
“Okay, okay. That works. I’m ordering Thai,” Thad blurts out and I can’t balk at a little Christmas Thai to fill our bellies.
“Thai sounds good,” I say. “I’ll pay this time,” I whip out my card.
“Girl, working at the weed shack ain't giving you shit, save your pennies,” he scolds me.
“I’ll have you know it’s called Sproutz with a ‘Z’ and we serve coffee and tea, not just weed,” I tease back.
“Tofu pad Thai?” He pretends he doesn’t even hear me as he orders on the app.
“Yes, vegan.” I remind him.
“Oh, girl I know,” he laughs. “You go hard for the plant-based.” He orders our food and comes back to the couch ready for another round of rom-com.
“So doesMy Mountain Christmas Carolsound good or do you want something else?” There are a couple more MM options.
“No, it sounds delightful. So, are you ready for the T?” He launches in before I get a chance to start our movie.
“I’ve been here way over twenty-four hours and you’re just now spilling T? Are you okay?” I make my reaction big.
“Well, I had to see if you can still be trusted. I mean you and all those crunchy bisexuals at school are a weird bunch. I wanted to make sure you didn’t get any weirder.” He gives me the side eye.
“This is coming from you?” I tease. “The weirdest of the Rockfall Follies?” I shake my head.
“Okay, okay. I swear, Jules, this guy at work ... he’s perfect,” Thad says as his eyes light up. “Tall, funny, has this dorky laugh that makes me want to melt into a thick gooey puddle. I think I’m obsessed.”
I laugh as Wilbur circles in. “Define obsessed. Is it more hopelessly smitten? Or are you going full stake out?”
He gives me a playful shove. “Define stakeout.”
“Oh, you’ve tumbled for him. Tell me, what's the game plan?” I’m now way more invested in his love life than in the movie we’re about to see.
I want to tell him about the plane and Marcel but I’d have to explain how I let a stranger pull me into a moment so recklessly I still ache a little. Shame prickles at my skin. What kind of person does what I did?
“Well, we’ve already gone out for bagels so, he’s gay. Very gay. Almost too gay? Is that a thing? I mean, he’s so perfect.” Thad is lost to his crushing.
“No, there’s no such thing astoo gay.” I console him, because Thad is pretty gay himself, though he tends to dress conservatively and does act straight in public when he’s not with his friends. He’s just used to code switching because he’s in the Senator’s office. He wants to go into politics.
“So, have you asked him out yet?” I furrow my brow and wonder why my totally hot cousin hasn’t already gone for it.
“Not yet, but Monday. I will Monday.” I hope he does.
“I’m going to text you and hold you to it,” I warn and he flashes his pinkie. “We pinkie swear on this and it’s stone, you know that.”
“I’m ready.” He waves his pinkie in the air and we lock in.
“Done!” We release each other’s pinkies and I laugh, though I’m a little sad.
All night, I keep my secret. I watch the storm gather outside, watch Thad talk about his crush, and I bite my tongue. We eventually finish the movie and it's so cute. I'm feeling all warm and cuddly and also cold and shitty at the same time.
The next day the weather has cleared. Just before we load the car for our road trip to Gran’s, it bursts out of me.
