“I have an appointment on Friday. Do you want to come with me, to hear his heartbeat?” she asks, her voice full of hope.
“I think it’s a boy. He’s going to look just like his dad.”
I clench my teeth and think of Ethan. My spitting image, but with his mother’s eyes. Ethan, who refuses to talk to me. Who barely looks at me when we go out—him, Alicia, and me—for dinner or lunch, like last Saturday.
When I’m home with Alicia, he hovers nearby but keeps his distance. I can feel it every time, the wall he’s building, growing taller, thicker. I’m losing him. I’m going to lose my son the same way I lost Ceci.
“Give her the divorce. Don’t contest it. She needs this. With time, no rush. you can try again. A love like yours doesn’t just disappear overnight.”
I hear Oliver’s words in my head, the ones he said a few days ago after I told him everything. What Ceci said, about the divorce petition. I don’t know if they were empty words or pity disguised as hope. But even I don’t dare believe them.
I’llalwayslove Ceci. That part won’t change. But what I did...
The thought dies before I can finish it. My chest feels tight. My throat burns. There aren’t enough words left in me to name the damage I caused.
“Colin!” Maya calls, her tone impatient now.
I take a deep breath. “Only reach out to me if it’s to ask for money to deal with this problem. I’ll pay whatever it takes. Otherwise, there’s nothing left for us to talk about.”
“Colin, I—”
I stand up, my voice low but firm.
“No, Maya. You heard me. The only reason you remain employed here is because terminating you would create a series of legal ramifications—given your current condition and everything that happened before.”
I had to put all my cards on the table with Jonathan, and he was clear. We keep Maya at the company at least until things calm down, or until I convince her to accept a generous settlement and sign an NDA.
But Maya doesn’t want money. She keeps clinging to this foolish idea that sheloves me.
“I’d never do anything to hurt you or jeopardize the company,” she says, looking up at me from beneath her lashes.
I point to where her hand protectively rests on her stomach. “Keeping this lie alive is more than hurting me, Maya. It’s detonating my entire life with a nuclear bomb.”
I’m too tired to keep trying to put some sense into her delusional mind.
When I finally speak, my voice is cold enough to leave no room for misunderstanding.
“Don’t come into my office again unless you’re asked to, or unless it’s to ask for the money to make this problem go away, once and for all.”
She tries one last time to convince me to go to the appointment—then, absurdly, suggests I join her in Montauk this weekend to meet her uncle and aunt, who apparently want to know who the father of her baby is, promising she’s only told them about the pregnancy and that she’s protectingoursecret.
I walk to the door and pull it open.
As soon as she leaves, I slam the door shut and lean against it, eyes closed.
The door to my office bursts open, and I look up from the document just in time to see Jonathan storm in. Rage written all over his face, tablet in hand.
“Have you seen this?” he growls.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. If this is another problem, it can wait. It’s barely past noon, and I’m already done for the day.”
He lets out a bitter laugh. “You don’t get that option. Because this mess is your goddamn doing.”
I take the tablet from his hand, and the second I see the image and read the headline, it slips from my fingers and crashes onto the desk.
It hits me all at once. The pounding. The rush. Panic that doesn’t begin in my head, but deep in my chest. Violent. Uncontrollable.
My heart starts hammering so fast it feels like it’s trying to break free from my ribs. Every beat echoes in my ears, louder than my own breathing,louder than the dead airthe room.
