Tomorrow I’ll come back. I’ll see my kids. I’ll talk to Ceci. I’m not giving up on us, on the family we built, the family we are. I just have to hold on to that last thread of hope until Ceci looks me in the eyes and believes me again.
I get into the car, take out my phone, and type a quick text.
Chapter 04
He doesn't deserve us
Ethan
As soon as the door closes, I walk toward the family room to see if Mom or Alicia heard anything. They’re in the same place as before. Alicia lost in whatever’s playing on the TV, Mom staring straight ahead, her face distant and unreadable.
I know she’s trying to be strong for us. But I can see how broken she is inside. The way her shoulders stay too stiff. The way her fingers twist together in her lap, like she’s holding herself together.
Yesterday, after school, she sat us down and explained that Dad wouldn’t be living with us anymore. That they were getting divorced. But that nothing would change for us, he’d still be our father.
Alicia is struggling to come to terms with what’s happening. In her mind, it’s just another one of his trips, those times when he disappears for a few days. Just this time, it’s him and Mom fighting, not something that will actually end in a divorce.
He called yesterday, said he missed us and that he’d come by soon. I didn’t talk to him.
I think Mom’s giving Alicia time to process things in her own way. She’s always been the one closest to Dad, the one who put him on a pedestal, nothing he did ever seemed wrong to her. But soon, we’ll have to tell her something. A gentler version of the truth. Something that helps her understand this is final.
I push off the wall before they see me. Before Alicia can ask me to join them.
I can’t fake it right now, not with my blood running this hot, that taste of disgust coating my tongue. Every time the image from this afternoon flashes in my head…
In the kitchen, I pour myself a glass of water and wait for Uncle Mark to come back in.
My eyes drift toward the pool area, and suddenly a memory surfaces. Something that happened years ago, but feels as vivid as if it were yesterday.
I must’ve been around four, playing by the edge of the pool with my ball. Dad was on the phone with Mom, she’d gone out to buy a few things. He told me to wait just a minute, then we’d go in together. He asked me to stay put, but my ball slipped from my hands and rolled into the water.
I tried to reach for it, lost my balance, and started to fall—right when I heard him shout my name. “Ethan!”
Before I could even feel the water close around me, his arms were there, pulling me up.
“Ethan! Ethan—are you okay? Hey, talk to me, buddy. Ethan?”
I started crying, mostly from the shock. I wasn’t hurt. Dad held me tight against his chest, his voice shaking as he kept apologizing. He told me everything was okay, over and over, until I finally stopped crying.
“It’s okay, son. Dad’s got you. I’ll never let anything happen to you. I love you. I love you so much, son.”
Then he carried me inside, rushing to call Mom and tell her his phone had fallen into the pool. I remember how he laughed about it later, telling Mom how he jumped in without even thinking about his phone… how everything felt safe again, like it always would be.
Where is that man now?What happened to my dad?
I press my fingers against my eyelids, holding back the tears burning their way up.He doesn’t deserve them.Not one more.
“Shit. I think I’m gonna need some ice for my hand.”
Uncle Mark’s voice startles me. I turn to see him digging through the freezer, pulling out a gel pack.
“They make it look way easier in the movies,” he mutters, pressing it against his knuckles. “Hurts like hell, though.”
It’s only then that I really look at his hand, at the bruised knuckles, raw and red.
“You punched him?”
“Twice,” he says, wincing slightly. “Once for your mom. Once for you and your sister. I would’ve gone for a third, one for each of you, but my hand was already screaming after the first hit.”
