She moaned softly, her eyelids fluttering. The restraints had been removed from her hands. The doctors felt the chances of her yanking out the lines were unlikely at this stage, and I was thankful she didn’t have to wake trapped and afraid again. They had removed the feeding tube around six hours ago, hoping this would assist in waking on her own.
“Nikki, it’s okay, angel. I’m here.”
Would my presence be a comfort or only make her fear worse?
“Demon,” she pushed the word out, and my spine stiffened as I prepared myself for the blow that she didn’t want me here, she didn’t love or need me as I did her, and she wanted me to leave. Gritting my teeth against tears that I absolutely wasn’t going to allow to fall, I grabbed the plastic cup of water off the side table and offered her the straw. Her lips fumbled around it before she took a few grateful sips of the cool liquid, her eyes never leaving mine.
“Do you want me to leave?” I asked quietly, placing the cup back on the table.
Nikki frowned. “I didn’t fuck the Devil.”
My eyebrows shot up. Is that what she thought? That I was the Devil himself? Granted, being a demon wasn’t likely to be any better to a frightened human, but Zaqiel hadn’t told me he’d made the clarification with her. “No,” I muttered, brushing a thumb across her forehead to ease her frown, “I’m not the Devil. I’m a demon, but I don’t want to be, not really.”
She simply blinked at me, a look of innocence and curiosity on her face. I didn’t know exactly what to say but felt I should keep talking to her. “I never quite fit in at home… in Hell. That’s why I came to Earth. But I never thought I’d find someone like you, and I never thought myself capable of love.” Her eyes widened, and her fingers gripped the sheet, albeit weakly, but she said nothing, so I continued, “I’ll understand if you never want to see me again, and I know words can’t take it back, but I’m sorry for what you witnessed. But if you’re not frightened of me, I hope you can remember who I was before you saw the transformation because that’s therealme. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you and showing you you’re safe and loved if you’ll have me.”
“Love me?”
She was still in so much pain. I could see it in the way her throat worked around the words and the grimace when sheswallowed painfully after asking. Nikki was choosing her words carefully, but I didn’t doubt there’d be a world of questions later. It broke something in me to know that her first question was asking if I loved her.
“Yes,” I whispered, holding her eye contact. “I love you.”
“Time.” She sighed.
I understood it would take her time. “As much as you need.”
Her eyes shimmered with emotion, and I kissed her forehead. “I’m going to get the doctor.”
As the days went on, Nikki became more lucid and capable, and I still hadn’t left the hospital. Smithy knew where I was and hadn’t called me since I contacted him two days after the accident. At least knowing enough about me to know if pushed, I’d throw the job in, and also that I would call him when I was ready to and not a minute earlier. When Nikki mumbled a complaint about missing home cooking, she didn’t want me to speak to the nurses because she understood the work that went into hospital food. I tried it, it wasn’t bad at all, but I knew what she meant.
Besides, the woman could cook, and I missed it too.
Slipping out of her room when the nurse came in to bathe her and begin explaining the physical therapy, I returned with a quiche from the canteen on the ground floor. Nikki’s eyes followed my movement into the room, that frown on her brow becoming a familiar part of her as she worked her way through each day. Then her eyes widened with recognition when she realized what I was attempting to replicate with her, and she laughed quietly, patting the side of her bed.
It was the first invitation I’d had to get closer to her, so while I took it, I did so tentatively, trying not to think about whatother demons would think of me. All emotions, empathy, and compassion, all this bullshit we didn’t normally deal with, not to mention the fucking quiche. But I stopped caring what they thought the moment they shredded my mark from my chest.
Except Frank, and while I’d never admit it to him, I cared what he thought.
I should really call him.
Sliding the quiche onto her tray, I offered, “Do you want to eat?”
She smiled, and my chest swelled. She was getting color back into her face, sitting up no longer taking all the energy from her. Though she did grow tired quickly, she wouldn’t admit it and only relaxed when I’d put on the television and sat in silence until she settled into her pillows. Nikki’s eyes were bright as they watched mine, and her lips curved into a slight smile that reminded me of what I was fighting for.
Behind the smile, was she thinking of me in my true form?
“Soon,” she said, patting my hand before drawing away. “Quiche is just as good cold.”
I scrunched up my nose. “If you say so.”
“Let’s talk.”
“Okay.”
We both waited in silence, and I shifted uncomfortably. Was she waiting for me to make the first move to begin this conversation? I didn’t know where to begin. “Do you remember…”
“Yes,” she cut me off, averting her eyes from mine. “Yes, I remember… the night before the accident.”
In the silence that followed, the cavern opened up in my chest again. While waiting for her to become more coherent and comfortable, the words hung unspoken between us. When she couldn’t speak enough to hold a conversation, her eyes would watch me, study me, while I kept up small talk that made me asuncomfortable as it did her. But she never asked me to leave or indicated that she wanted me to. Nikki never screamed, cried, or looked terrified when I was near, and I supposed I should be thankful for at least that.
