I hated it more because it was all my fault, and I knew she’d hate it too.
Zaqiel watched me pace before sighing and leaning his shoulder against the wall. He didn’t wait for me to still, observant enough to realize I wasn’t going to. There was too much energy in me, and the need to protect was exercising itself with the need to bring down someone, anyone. Zaqiel was closest, but he was in no danger from me physically. An angel could take a demon any day.
“She was drunk and driving.”
“She was going to the cemetery,” I added. Of course, she was. With the location of the accident, there was no otherexplanation. Nikki was going to her father’s grave as though he could offer her some peace or answers. But there’d be no peace, not after what I had put her through.
“They’re still figuring out what happened, but judging by her blood alcohol level, it’s likely she passed out behind the wheel. Several other cars were involved, but she was the only one hurt. Thank God.”
I wheeled around, invading his space. Zaqiel was unconcerned with my show of aggression, his power vastly superior to mine. But I was fighting with pure rage and hatred and didn’t doubt I could knock him down a few pegs before he ultimately bested me. “What the fuck do you mean,thank God?”
“No one else was hurt. Did you see the accident? No,” he added firmly before I could answer, “Well, I did. We’re lucky no one died.”
“Look at her!”
“If it weren’t for me, shewouldbe dead, and I’d appreciate it if you stopped treating me like the enemy, demon.”
Through gritted teeth, I muttered, “Cade,” as I stepped away from Zaqiel.
He waited for me to interrupt again, and when I didn’t, he continued, “She was choking on her own vomit. I cleared her airway and removed her from the vehicle while keeping her neck and spine straight. I told the other drivers to stay away, so I could destroy the car as I needed to get her legs out so she wasn’t trapped, and we didn’t have to wait for the paramedics. I stayed with her until the ambulance came.”
I wanted to thank him, but I couldn’t find the words. “Is she going to die?”
The pause before he answered only increased the black hole that had been living inside my chest. God, I was a horrible being. If I weren’t already from Hell, I would be going straight there. I’d end my own life right now if it meant I’d spent an eternity beingtortured for what I had done. I deserved nothing less. But there was no afterlife for exiled demons.
Zaqiel cleared his throat. This was the first show of emotion I had seen from the otherwise stoic angel, and I wasn’t sure if that helped or made me feel worse. “She has a cerebral contusion and a small hemorrhage.”
“Z-Zaqiel,” my voice was as broken as my heart. “Tell me what thatmeans.”
“It means, Cade, that her brain is swelling and pushing against her skull. This damages the part of the brain, the reticular activating system, that controls arousal from sleep.” He looked at Nikki, watching the machines beep and utter their soothing sounds of breathing life for a moment. “She’s in a coma, and all we can do is wait until she wakes.”
Getting out the words was hard, pushing them through my chest and out my throat, cutting daggers into me as they came. All I could think about was Nikki trapped in eternal sleep. Was she dreaming? What if she was having nightmares? “And if…” I closed my eyes,no, no if,“…whenshe wakes?”
“She’ll need physical therapy to walk and talk properly again. She may suffer minor memory lapses for a few months. But…” he dragged his fingers through her hair, and I wanted to rip his arm off, only allowing the move because he saved her life. “Whenshe wakes, she’ll be okay. She’s strong, I can tell.”
“You have no idea,” I choked out.
Collapsing in the only available chair in the room, I pulled it up next to her bed, shuffled my feet across the floor, and rested my head in my hands. I groaned loudly before looking up and taking Nikki’s hand, carefully avoiding the IV line and stroking her wrist.
“You love her, don’t you?” Zaqiel asked.
“Yes.” There was no point in lying.
“Does she know what you are?”
“Yes.” I was quieter this time.
Zaqiel didn’t ask how she had reacted. I suspect he didn’t need to. Her reaction was staring him in the face, lying in a hospital bed after an accident that almost took her life were it not for the intervention of an angel. He grabbed his jacket from the end of Nikki’s bed and shrugged it on. “I’ll come back and check on her in a few days.”
“I’ll be here.”
The sympathetic pull of his brow definitely made it worse. “I know. I’ll tell the doctors you’re staying.” I doubted visitors were allowed to hang around every hour of the day, but there was no way in hell I was leaving anyway, and Zaqiel must have known that. Perhaps he had a rapport with the doctors here. I didn’t particularly care. If I was questioned, I’d fight to stay.
Let them try and stop me.
Zaqiel was just about at the door when I found the words. “How can I ever repay you for saving my heart?”
He paused, his back to me. “You don’t need to. I’m an angel. I go where I’m needed.”
