Her forehead crinkles as she frowns. “Why?”
I let out a long breath. Kira doesn’t make it easy to sink into the shadows. “I moved around a lot growing up,” I say. “I learned that things don’t last, and not to fight for space that isn’t mine.”
Her gaze stays fixed on my face, unflinching. “But thisisyour space, Boyd, and I’m not asking you to fight.”
I shrug, because I have nothing to add.
She cocks her head, and her lips pull together in a tight shape. “I’m wondering why you already decided the outcome,” she says.
Because it’s safer that way,I think, but I don’t say it. “Because it’s efficient.”
She makes a quiet sound. “You’ve done this before?” she asks.
“I grew up in foster care. A lot of it.”
Her expression softens immediately, but she doesn’t say anything.
“You learn pretty quick you’re temporary. Doesn’t matter how good you are or how hard you try. Sooner or later, you’re packing your stuff in a trash bag while someone else decides what happens next.”
I swallow the gravel in my throat. “There’s something between you and Atlas, and it makes sense. He’s a good man. Anyone would choose him.”
“That’s not—” she starts.
“I have feelings for you.” The words burst out of me like they’d been looking for an escape route for days. I was never planning to tell her how I feel about her, and if I had, it surely wouldn’t have been like this.
“I know my feelings aren’t returned,” I add quickly, so she doesn’t have to respond. “I figured I’d let you know why I’m pulling back.”
The space heater hums. The wind kicks up outside, scraping tree branches against the roof. I brace myself for the sting of rejection.
Kira stares at me, and when I meet her eyes, there’s no disgust or pity there. She steps toward me with her usual soft determination. “Boyd, you’re wrong about one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“My feelings aren’t simple.”
Before I can respond, footsteps sound behind her. Atlas steps in but immediately stops short, his eyes darting between Kira and me. “I can come back,” he says.
Kira turns toward him and tilts her head. “No,” she says. “Stay.”
I tense and wait for Atlas to take point and close ranks, but it doesn’t happen. He stays where he is, and Kira turns back to me.
“I’m attracted to you,” she says. “And to Andrew. And to Silas, too. I know it isn’t convenient, but I can’t help how I feel.”
She pauses to draw in a breath, looking toward Atlas, then back at me. “Why does attraction have to mean choosing favorites,” she asks, “or creating competition?”
My mind struggles to catch up. We live and breathe by the plans we make here at the compound, but this is nothing I could have anticipated. “That’s how things work,” I say.
Kira shrugs. “Maybe there’s more than one way for things to work.”
Atlas shifts his weight and stands at ease. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but it doesn’t look like he’s been caught off guard the way I have. He briefly meets my eyes before looking back at Kira. “I’m not going to control her,” he says. “That’s the last thing I’ll ever do.”
Something warm passes between the two of them before she looks back at me.
“You didn’t imagine it, Boyd. I have feelings for Andrew, but that doesn’t erase what I feel for you. It doesn’t reduce it, either.”
She steps closer. Close enough that I can feel the warmth of her and smell her soft scent. She rises onto her toes and reaches up, but hesitates. “May I?”
I nod before I think better of it.
