Audiobook???
Closing the Notes app, I flip my phone over and shove it away before staring at it like it’s a bug I want to squash, and I hate bugs.
Why does everything on that list feel like a gigantic feat?
I stare at the pink phone case until the damn thing rings.Again
This time, a different local number I don’t recognize flashes on the screen.
Nope. Not answering. Nice try, Mom.
I bring my Notes app back up.
Maybe I could start with Audible... There’s got to be an audio version ofWhat to Expect When You’re Expecting. I’ll start there. That’s doable.
With just a few swipes, I’ve got it and the new audiobook from Natalie Sinclair added to my cart. Okay, and maybe some Ghirardelli dark-chocolate raspberry squares too. Not like I’m going to have a tutu back on any time soon. Pretty sure the Philadelphia Ballet won’t be taking a dancer who’s six months pregnant at auditions. Sounds like a good time to indulge for once in my life.
Time to one-click these bitches.
The dopamine hit I’m expecting once I’ve checked out doesn’t come, but at least I can mark one thing off my list.
Talk to Jamie
Find an ob-gyn
Get health insurance
Call Dad
Add decaf coffee to the grocery list
Talk to Finn
Buy a book on pregnancy/maybe get a few
Audiobook???
I read through the list again.
Thankfully, Finn isn’t home, so he’s not even an option. I’m not ready to have that conversation yet either. Looks like I’m just hiding from all my responsibilities at the moment. Solid plan as plans go. That’s worked so well for me in the past.
Maybe I could rearrange the list in order of importance. Or maybe in order of time sensitivity... Who am I kidding? Let’s go with easiest first. Small victories and all that shit.
Who knows, maybe a few small victories will build my confidence up enough to tackle a few of the bigger ones. I mean, I doubt it, but what the hell do I know?
Okay, what I do know is my pity party is annoying me, and it’s pretty bad when you’re annoying yourself.
Time to pull my big girl panties up and maybe not think about just how much bigger they’re going to get when I’m nine months pregnant.
Maybe I’ll finally get boobs.
I look down at my A cups that occasionally look like little small B’s.
Shit. Are they going to get huge too?
Maybe no more chocolate.
With a few swipes, I pull up the grocery list, add decaf to it and apples instead of chocolate, then go back into the other list and rearrange it again. And yes, I keepadd decafon there just so I can cross that sucker off. Cheating? Maybe? But seriously... small victories.
