“Homeboy has it bad,” Dillan announces, then smiles at Kyrie clapping her hands together. “No way was he waiting another month,” she sing songs to the baby, like that makes it sound better.
“Not a flamingo,” I murmur, pretty sure I was right the first time. Time to dig a big-ass fucking hole. “An ostrich. That’s it.”
“What?” Lexie asks, leaning closer to try to decipher my rambling. She shrugs when she gives up and leans her hip against the counter, breaking off a piece of sample cookie and offering it to me. When I shake my head, she pops it into her own mouth. “I don’t see what’s wrong—Unless... Wait. . .” She cringes. “Was it bad? I mean, I figured it’s Jamie. He’s got to be a good kisser, right?”
Did she just?—
Dillan and I stare at her, thoroughly confused, as a self-conscious blush creeps up her face. “You two are gross. I did not think about kissing my cousin. I meant because he’s...”—she purses her lips and eyes me hesitantly—“never mind.”
“You meant because he’s a bit of a manwhore,” Dillan fills in the blank, and Lexie nods.
“Wrong cousin, Lex. Jamie may have let us all tease him, but I’m pretty sure he’s way less whore-y than we thought. I’m not sure who’s actually worse, your brothers or mine.”
“I mean, Noah is a rock star. That’s got to be a whole different level of whore?—"
“Oh my God. Could we please stop sayingwhore?” I snap, and both women stare at me. Maybe that was a little louder than I planned. “No, Lex, he’s not a bad kisser. He’s actually a greatkisser.” I close my eyes and immediately feel his lips on mine and start daydreaming about that damn hole again. How long could I live there? “Like really great.”
Lexie makes some kind of happy clapping noise, and my eyes fly open.
I hope this girl was a cheerleader in high school because she definitely seems like the eternally optimistic one of the bunch.
“So what’s the problem?” Dillan digs, and I start to wonder if this girlfriend thing is overrated. “Come on, Ashton. What happened? He’s a good kisser and not nearly the man—” She stops herself from saying it again and cocks a brow. “Not nearly as free with his kissing as we thought. So why are you freaking the fuck out?”
Right. Because that’s why I’m here.
To talk about this.
Friends talk about this kind of thing.
Friends share traumas, and this absolutely falls into the category of trauma.
I thought I’d had all the therapy I could possibly need in my life already, but after today, I think I may need more.
Fuck it.
“I puked,” I announce, and both women stare at me like they already knew that. Damn it. “You’re really going to make me say this,” I murmur and take a deep breath.Rip the Band-Aid off, Ashton.“I puked. . . on Jamie.”
“What?” both women exclaim, and that hole can go ahead and open up any time now...
“Yeah, we’re going to need more details than that,” Dillan tells me, looking from me to Lexie as if she’s thoroughly enjoying this. “Start from the beginning. And go slow.”
It doesn’t take long to fill them in on last night and this morning. Even if I do fight an internal war over whether or notto tell them everything. As in Valentine’s Day too. But for now, I keep it to the last twenty-four hours. Baby steps and all.
Once I stop, Lexie rounds the counter and wraps an arm around my shoulders.
Dillan does the same, essentially forming some kind of human hug.
I’m not a hugger.
Hell, I’m not much of a toucher.
I blame my parents, but I might just be lacking that gene.
Either way, these women hold me like they’re giving me strength through osmosis. And I take it because I haven’t had this kind of support from anyone besides Finn in a really long time, and it feels vital.
Tears burn the backs of my eyes, and I all but growl in fiery frustration. “I swear to God I never cry, and it’s like I can’t stop lately.”
“Ashton...” Lexie softens her voice as she looks at me cautiously, like she’s scared I’ll break or maybe snap. “Are you sure there’s no way you’re pregnant?”
