Is that too focused on her pet and career? If I say she’s cute, is that too focused on looks? Is “Hey” too simple?
Ugh, this is hard. I feel like an impostor.
Honestly, I’m scared she’ll be able to tell I’ve never dated a woman before. I’m scared she’ll think I’m not “gay enough,” whatever that means. All these girls seem confident in their sexuality, and I’m just…straight-looking, I guess. I tested out wearing my hair in different ways earlier, and when Katie wasn’t home yet, I may have tried on some of her clothes. It all looks like I’m trying too hard.
I know, I know—be yourself. But what if “being myself” isn’t good enough to get a girlfriend?
Chapter 7
How to Catch a Chimera
“Soyoublewupa lake house, rescued your girlfriend’s dad, and developed a magically induced full-body rash that makes poison ivy look minor,” Hazel says from the kitchen table. “All in the span of an evening.”
“Yep.” I plunk down on the couch to slather coconut oil over my angry red skin, which feels too tight and on fire. “They had him locked in a dark basement.”
I had Natalie drop me off while she and Sky went to tend to their dad. My brain feels like it’s been through a blender, tumble-dried, then put back into a blender, but sleep isn’t an option when every time I close my eyes, I see those iron bars and his hollow face. Thank God Hazel’s still up.
I peel off my socks and inspect my blotchy feet, which look like they’ve been attacked by radioactive mosquitoes. What’s the proper treatment for magical inflammation anyway? Is there a WebMD for curse victims?
Hazel goggles at me, her paint-by-numbers sunflower field forgotten. “These Madsen people sound horrible. And you’re still in trouble for killing one of them in self-defense?”
“Yup.” The injustice hits me all over again, and I slump back.
“What will they do when they find out you blew up their house and took Natalie’s dad?”
“Well, they already want to kill me, so does it matter?” I lift a shoulder as if this isn’t terrifying. “Anyway, with luck, they’ll think he exploded with the house.”
She studies me closely as I try to relieve my inflamed arms. I don’t know if it’s helping, but it’s all I could think of, and it’s soothing after the curse attacked me. At least I’ll smell like a tropical vacation while I process my trauma.
“Are you okay?” Hazel asks, searching my face.
“We succeeded,” I say, willing myself to feel some sense of victory. “We freed Natalie’s dad, which means soon we’ll have the guidance we need to start catching chimeras.”
It’s hard to get Natalie’s distraught face out of my head, and the pain in her voice. I can’t imagine how scared and angry she must have been, knowing how close she was to losing both parents to the Madsens.
Hazel smiles sadly. “You didn’t answer my question.”
I open my mouth to say I’m fine.Of course. Everything’s working out.
But the words lodge in my throat. And something in her steady gaze makes me swallow them right back down.
The cell flashes across my mind again—iron bars, putrid air, the defeat in his eyes. My stomach churns, bile rising. I dig out another glob of coconut oil and attack my arms like I can scrub away the memory.
“No,” I admit, my voice strained. “I’m not okay. My parents and sisters called to ask how I’m settling in, and I almost burst into tears at the thought that I might not see them for five years while I rot in a cell. And I don’t know what I’m going to tell them because it’s not like I can tellthe truth, and they’re all going to worry, and I don’t want to do that to them, and I’m going to—to really miss them—”
Fuck, I’m crying.
I swipe at my cheeks, wincing as my irritated skin protests at the contact. Hazel studies me, her expression shifting to a familiar determination. She sets down her paintbrush.
I watch her wearily as she gets up and comes closer.
She wraps her arms around me, not quite touching me because of my tender skin. “I am absolutely not letting you go to witch prison, and neither is Natalie. We’ve got two months to figure this out, okay?”
Ethel pads over and sniffs my ankle, either sensing my distress or debating whether to lick off the coconut oil.
Of course Hazel’s prepared to help me tackle this. That’s what best friends do, right? Help you move, bail you out of jail, and hunt down shapeshifting monsters?
Knowing I have her and Natalie in my corner helps, but to think we might fail anyway still makes my chest unbearably tight.
