“Do you even love Ephyra?” I said.
“Of course I do! I wouldn’t have married her if I didn’t.”
“She gave you no choice!”
“If she hadn’t changed me into a merman, I would have died, Meela. She wouldn’t have done that if she didn’t love me.”
We stared at each other, suspended in the cavern. We’d both abandoned life above water to be with a mermaid, but we had taken very different paths.
“I’m not asking whether she loves you,” I said. “I’m asking whether you love her. Allure isn’t the same as true love.”
He examined the webs between his fingers. “Whatever it is, Meela, I’m happy.”
“But how do you know it’s not—?”
“Because when I look at her, it feels … it feels like my heart is expanding. I love everything about her, every part of her, both inside and out.”
When I kept staring, stone-faced, he continued.
“Whenever I see her, I feel happier. I want to hug her and kiss her and protect her from everything bad in the world. Any day I’m not with her, I miss her, and I wish I could talk to her. I can’t imagine how I lived my life before, and I can’t imagine going back to that. I’m a better version of myself when I’m with her. From the day we met, I wanted to have all these crazy adventures together, and I kept picturing the future and how we would spend the rest of our lives. If that’s just the allure, then I don’t care.”
My eyes burned with tears. I dropped my gaze, following the idle path of something bioluminescent near my tail.
“Nilus, I’ve spent half my life without you, and it’s been horrible. I was an only child in a family that should’ve had a son.”
“None of this would’ve happened if I hadn’t been sent on the Massacre.”
“I know that’s not your fault. Things ended up this way, and I don’t blame you for that. But it would’ve been a comfort to know you weren’t dead.”
I was still squeezing the onyx ring between my palms. I passed it back. Nilus held it delicately between his webbed fingers, examining the stone.
“It hurt every day,” he said, “to be separated from you—from Eriana Kwai. I’ve missed everything about it. I’d love one more run through the forest. I want to feel moss under my feet, and smell cedar… I know it can never happen again. I wouldn’t trade what I have now, but man, I miss that forest.”
I knew what he meant—but that was where I’d always felt different. I’d loved the sea most of all, ever since I was a kid.
“Our people will always be a part of us,” I said. “Even if we can never run through the forest or climb a maple tree again, Eriana is still in our blood.”
Nilus grabbed a comb from Ephyra’s corner to resume his grooming. “That’s poetic of you.”
“No, really. Eriana’s our ancestor. Papa told me.”
I hesitated. Though I’d sworn not to tell anyone about the serpent, I wanted to make an exception for Nilus. We might have spent the last ten years apart, but he still felt familiar, like someone I could trust the most after Lysi. Besides, Lysi had worked with Nilus during their assassination attempts. He could be trusted.
While Nilus tore through his matted hair with the comb, I told him about my Massacre, and how I had learned that Adaro was attacking Eriana Kwai because he was searching for the leviathan, Sisiutl, and how my friends and I searched for it where Adaro couldn’t.
“Why did you give it to him?” said Nilus.
I scoffed. “I didn’tgiveit to him. I wanted to find it and use it to kill him.”
“But?”
“Dani ended up having control, not me.”
“Dani? The girl you went to school with?”
“You remember her?”
He laughed. “She asked me on a date when you guys were seven. I told her she was a bit young for me. She didn’t take it too well.”
