This situation was completely out of her control, and she knew it. Realistically, the only option was to wait it out.
Maybe she could book a one-way ticket to Guatemala. Maybe she could go back to Mexico City. Learn Spanish, delete socialmedia, start her own restaurant and make friends with other local artists . . . no, no. She was getting ahead of herself. Cierra placed her elbow on the kitchen island and asked her guests if they were hungry. The only thing giving her life hope was the thought of shrimp fried rice.
“I’m good,” they both said in unison, still engrossed in the comments and the hundreds of new videos that had popped up — countless strangers weighing in on an event they knew nothing about. Cierra groaned and pulled out her phone to order some delivery.
“The girls are loving Erik, by the way,” Lisa commented with a grin. “Hey, have you guys talked since then? What was his deal, anyway?” Lisa said.
“No, not really.” Cierra had called him late last night and sent him a fairly lengthy text earlier that morning asking to talk but had no reply except for a brief,I’m sorry. “I think he’s still shaken up about the whole thing.” She intentionally didn’t answer the last question:What was his deal?She didn’t know the whole deal herself, but she knew what made sense.
“Well, I can see why everyone’s so thirsty. I mean, did you see that swerve?” Mia teased.
Cierra and Lisa started laughing, and Cierra smiled. The situation was shitty, but she was glad she had them to find the silver linings.
“Did something happen between you two? You and Erik?” Mia asked softly.
Cierra sighed and slowly nodded her head, somewhat ashamed she had kept the truth from her best friend. Hell, she’d kept her true feelings for Erik away from her own self.
“Remember that weekend in the Catskills?” Cierra began, before telling Lisa and Mia the details of what really happened, how wrong she’d been about Erik, and the full extent to whichJulian had lied to get her back. Without words or judgement, they just hugged her after she was done.
This easily could have been one of the worst days of her life; it wasn’t every day you got to be judged by millions of strangers on the internet for one of the most humiliating things to ever happen to you. But instead, she was laughing with people who cared about her. And she cared about them. And in the most unexpected way, Cierra felt . . . relief.
For as long as she could remember, she had been weighed down by the relentless obsession of what others could be thinking of her. The constant stress of acting in anticipation of others’ perceptions. It was living in the moment of a horror movie right before the jump scare: an everlasting sense of fear, waiting for the judgement to come.Do they think I’m talented? Are they impressed? How do I prove I’m successful? Enough?And it was torture. So, when she saw that video of herself — it brought rest. Powerlessness. There was simply nothing she could do: no managing to be done. People were free to have whatever opinions they may, and while it stung to think there were those who likely thought she was a gold-digging homewrecker,sheknew the truth. And the people in her life who truly cared about her knew her truth as well. That’s all that mattered.
“Listen, does this kind of suck?” Mia said. “Sure. But in a year, this’ll be funny. And you’ll have a better ice-breaker than literally anyone else.”
“That’s right,” Lisa said.
“Also, you get one more day of whatever this is,” Mia twirled her finger around at Cierra’s state, “but you have a show casting to land on Thursday. Okay?”
Cierra nodded. She didn’t mention the five missed calls she had from Gabriel, no doubt aboutMessy Cheffy. But she’d get to that tomorrow.
She was still coming down from the chaos, but Mia and Lisa’s visit at least brought her back to sanity. The incident at Sincha Summit — even if the social media spiral hadn’t happened — had been a lot to process. Erik still hadn’t responded to her calls or messages, but that was okay. Cierra had apologized and let him know she’d still be here if he ever wanted to be friends again, but for now, she’d respect his space and let him be. In all likelihood, he was dealing with his own shit with his family; Zelda had looked ready to commit murder when she saw the fight happening between her brother-in-law and Julian. The thought of being on the receiving end of her boss’s fury gave her chills.
And Erik had been right when he drove her back from the airport; even if they had feelings for each other, now wasn’t the time for either of them to be getting romantically involved.
She hadn’t heard one word from Julian and didn’t think she ever would again. There were rumors of other women — which wasn’t surprising — but delving into Julian’s actions was no longer any concern of Cierra’s. He’d caused enough damage, she’d determined. She didn’t want to give any more energy to him. It’s not like gathering more information about his deceit would make anything better. That’s the thing about closure — it’s something you give yourself, not the other way around. Removing herself from the madness was the only closure she needed, and truly the only closure to be had.
It was now a week after everything had gone down, and clarity was gently making its way through Cierra’s mind. She sat on the passenger side of Lisa’s SUV, while her mom and Mia gabbed away in the backseat, exchanging excited whispers. Cierra and her cheer-leading squad were en route to the casting call location in some random convention hall in New Jersey. Lisa kept her eyes focused on the road and was mostly silent throughout the drive, sensing that Cierra needed space to think.Erik, Julian, and this whole mess filled her thoughts, but she also felt anticipation, even though her personal life dampened it.
“Alright, we’re about fifteen minutes away. How are you feeling, sis?” Lisa asked.
This inquiry pulled Cierra out of her reflective trance, which she was grateful for. “I’m not sure. Definitely should have peed before we left.”
“Nervous? Excited?” her mom asked sweetly.
“Yeah, both. I guess.”
“You sure about that?” Mia teased.
“I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I am.”
Cierra’s mom leaned forward and gave her a consoling rub on her left shoulder.
“It’s been an eventful week, hon. Your poor nerves are probably just bombed out at this point. And you know, that might work to your advantage. Keep you calmer, less frazzled.”
Cierra turned around and gave her mom a smile, an unconvincing one, but she appreciated her optimism. This whole week, she’d shown nothing but complete acceptance and never once made her feel judged or tried to interfere.
“I hope you’re right, Mom.”
