As soon as they hit a paved highway, the sound of gravel and thrashing back and forth ended. “Thanks again for driving.”
“No problem,” Cierra said nicely enough, but her inflection almost came across as professional, like she was an Uber driver and not someone who’d spent nearly the entire summer with the man to her right. Nervously, she grabbed a few Skittles from the bag she had propped in the drink holder.
“I needed to get outta that place. I can barely stand some of those people,” he said, like he wasn’t one of them, and grabbed some candy himself. “So, what all do you have to do for thisaudition? Obviously, they already have a finger on the scale for you.”
“That appears to be the case,” Cierra said somewhat regretfully. Another reminder that this spot was hers to lose; whether she sank or swam was purely resting on her performance. “I’m trying not to get my hopes up too much. It’s not like I have a spot on the show yet or anything. I think I might have gotten too excited when I got the audition.”
Erik made a face of disagreement. “Cierra, last time I checked, getting selected for a callback is still a massive achievement, right?”
“Julian said I should save the excitement for the actual win.”
“Right,” he replied with a frustrated exhale. “Don’t you think you’re being a little tough on yourself?”
“He has a point. I have a lot riding on this.” Her heartbeat accelerated at the thought. Her grip tightened around the steering wheel as her head got that squeezed walnut feeling again.
“Whoa, I think you just missed our turn.”
“Sorry,” she muttered, keeping her eyes out for the next intersection where she could make a U-turn.
They drove on, mostly with Cierra lost in thought while Erik periodically remarked on a tree or a bird flying by. “Are you okay?” he finally said in a concerned tone.
“Yeah, fine. Just distracted.”
“Alright.”
After turning around, and now ten minutes away from their destination, the pressure around her chest grew tighter, more urgent. She rolled down a window, hoping the fresh air would help, but it was to no avail. Sweating, she tugged at the top of her shirt. A sickening lump was forming in her stomach, and Cierra was unsure if she was going to throw up or have a heart attack.
Cierra pulled over to the side of the road, needing to catch her breath. “I . . . I can’t . . .” she said, opening the car door and getting out.
With zero hesitation, Erik got out of his seat and raced around the front of the car to Cierra. Luckily, the old back road was completely deserted, and they hadn’t seen a vehicle besides a tractor a few miles back. Double-checking that there was no traffic, he gently guided her to the side of the car facing the woods.
“You don’t look so hot,” he said, rubbing her upper back. “Why don’t we sit down, okay? Here.” He gently helped her to the ground with an arm secure around her shoulder, lowering himself with her. “Try putting your head between your legs.”
Nodding, Cierra took his instructions without hesitation.
“Okay, now just try breathing, slow, okay? One . . . two . . . three . . . four . . .”
They continued this for a minute or so before her heart returned to a normal pace.
“I think I started having a panic attack or something, I’m not sure.” She shook her head. “That’s never happened before.”
Erik looked at her, concern filling every centimeter of his hazel eyes. “Let’s go back to the—”
“No, I’m fine. I’m fine. This weekend has to be perfect, and the store is closing soon.” She tried standing up, but immediately feeling lightheaded again, sat back down. Erik had already grabbed his water bottle and was holding it out for her to drink.
“You don’t seem fine.” Reluctantly, Cierra lifted her head to meet his eyes.
“What’s going on? You can talk to me, you know that.”
Sighing, and perhaps without enough blood flow to be more guarded, she let it all out.
“It’s just this weekend. I’m so paranoid about messing something up and not getting this last check. I just, I really need this money, Erik. I . . .” Tears started to come. “This last check will give me enough to live on in New York if I land the audition. But if I don’t get it, or if I don’t land the show, I’ll have to move back home. I can’t take this pressure anymore.”
“What kind of pressure?”
“After my breakup, I realized I had, like, nothing in the bank. Lisa, my sister, helped me out, but she’s got a baby on the way and doesn’t have enough to prepare for her babyandcover me. This job — working for Zelda — it’s been a lifeline. But if anything goes wrong . . .” She shook her head. “I can handle paying the consequences for my own mistakes — but there’s no way I could live with myself if I let my sister, and her unborn child, shoulder the bill for my impulsive career decision.”A decision that might not even pay off.
“There’s no way Zelda wouldn’t give you what she promised,” Erik said. “And even if she tried, I wouldn’t let that happen.”
