The answer to that question was obvious. But Cierra could tell he wasn’t really looking for that answer. And while she felt guilty about hiding this from him, she also knew she hadn’t done anything wrong by sleeping with Erik. The whole reason she was feeling vulnerable in the Catskills in the first place was because Julian had told her he wanted to keep things casual.
“Damn. This is, um . . . this sucks,” he said, before letting out a nervous chuckle. “So, do you have feelings for him? Since our re-start?”
“No. No, no. It was a one-time thing, seriously. It was a drunken hook-up. That’s it. It didn’t change at all how I felt about you.”
“Do you guys still hang out?”
“No. I mean, well, we do still see each other sometimes, but not—”
Julian put his head in his hands. “Listen, I know it’s not fair for me to get angry or upset at you sleeping with another guy. I mean, it’s mostly my fault. I get that. But the fact you’ve essentially said nothing about this person . . . it just doesn’t sit right. And to know that it’s not just your boss’s brother . . . but that he’s friends with Mia, has met your family . . . I don’t know, Cierra. I need time to process this.”
With her eyes lowered, she understood where he was coming from.
“I think I’m gonna go home tonight. Thanks for hosting, you have a beautiful family.”
“Maybe we can talk about it later this week?”
“Yeah, sure. Maybe. I have that family vacation coming up, remember?”
“Oh, right.” This was probably going to be the last time she’d see him before Sincha Summit, and she really didn’t want to wait that long to resolve this. “I just think we should deal with this sooner rather than later.”
“Maybe we can find a time to talk on Wednesday . . . I don’t know. I have a lot to think about.”
“Okay. I understand.” Without a hug or kissing her goodbye, Julian let himself out and closed the door.
Alone with leftover red massaman curry, she poured herself a glass of wine and curled up next to her bookshelf in her living room. The lack of definitive guilt or injustice was making the entire situation a lot more difficult to process on her end. Erik had become a good friend; he was important to her. There wasno getting around that, but she was also wary of what that could mean for her and Julian from now on.
The age-old question — can men and women be friends? The answer was something like,of course, context permitting.How would she feel if she found out Julian was secretly spending time with a close friend he had recently slept with, even if he swore up and down it was platonic?
She knew the answer to that, and it made her even more conflicted.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
THE FOLLOWING WEEKEND, Cierra was rolling a carry-on across the tarmac to the Lawsons’ private jet. The sky was a solid azure blue, spreading vastly over the horizon, and everyone, including Zelda, was in good spirits. She had insisted on chartering something for all New York attendees, which consisted of the Lawsons, Erik and Mia, Randy, a few members of Sincha’s leadership team, and some investors.
“This is just like going on family vacation,” Mia excitedly whispered to Cierra as they approached a gleaming white aircraft with butlers awaiting the group with trays of champagne.
“Right,” Cierra replied, readjusting a bulky tote bag while trying not to drop her water bottle and phone.
Mia was in a jumper set, showing off her long legs with chunky heeled sandals. Cierra had caught some attendees taking a sneaky peek. But as usual, Mia seemed totally oblivious, yapping away about all the things they had to do once they landed. It was hard for Cierra to keep up, though, as she had barely gotten any sleep and her stomach was in knots. She and Julian had only talked via text since the night she told him about Erik. And that, coupled with the stress of managing this weekend and her upcoming audition, was enough to make Cierra feel like she had a hangover already.
She politely declined a drink while a steward took her bags, and she trudged up the stairs into the cabin. Cierra picked a seat — booth, rather — next to the window, and Mia plopped down across from her. Mia tilted her head, still wearing her over-sized sunglasses, with her delicate champagne flute in hand.
“Cierra, what’s going on with you?”
Cierra quickly checked to see who all was around before responding.
“Just some stuff going on with Julian. A misunderstanding. I’ll tell you about it when we land.”
“Hmm. Okay, fine. Do I need to call anyone to handle him?”
Cierra smiled, appreciating her friend’s loyalty, while feeling like if anyone needed to be “handled,” it was her. She still hadn’t told Mia about what really happened in the Catskills.
“Nah, it’s not like that. Nothing major, just an argument earlier this week.”
“I feel like something is always going on with you two. First, he didn’t want to be serious. Now you’re all gloomy while we’re on a freaking private jet because of a ‘misunderstanding.’ You guys haven’t even dated that long. Isn’t it a little early for all this?”
Exhausted and defensive, Cierra crossed her arms and sighed. “Not everything about love or relationships is easy, Mia. It’s a lot of work. You wouldn’t get it.”
