After pressing the little circular button for the elevators, the reflective golden doors opened to a small group walking in. Immediately, Cierra recognized two of the men: Randy and Erik. Randy was busy talking with a woman who Cierra didn’t recognize, and he didn’t seem to notice her. Erik and Cierramade eye contact, but rather than say hi, he just nodded with a simple smile, before making his way into the party.
“Can’t believe people are still arriving. This thing is probably gonna go all night,” Julian remarked, stepping in and pressing the elevator button for the first floor.
“Yeah, knowing Mia, that seems about right,” Cierra replied, her mind elsewhere.
Why had Erik’s casual nod, as if she were a passerby on the street, stung so badly? Then again, how would she have reacted if she’d needed to introduce the two men? It’s not like Julian didn’t know about Erik. She’d talked about him in the same way she shared stories about Zelda or Mia.
Yeah, but you didn’t sleep with them,she said to herself.
And based on the interaction with Harry, Cierra was honestly a little worried about how Julian might react. Erik was . . . well . . . anyone with eyes would be suspicious, knowing their girlfriend was friends with him. Close friends. Friends who . . .ugh. And while Julian’s jealous antics were somewhat charming with Harry, Erik was a different story. He hadn’t done anything wrong. Except to place the idea in Cierra’s head that maybe, in some other world . . .
Ding.The elevator opened to the apartment building’s ground floor. “I’ll call a car,” Julian said, pulling Cierra back to reality.
“Great. Let’s get out of here.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
THE FRESH, LATE summer air whizzing in through the rolled-down window of Julian’s sports car whipped Cierra’s hair into a Medusa-like frenzy. One of her lengthy almond-colored strands had even blown over into Julian’s line of vision, eliciting a smile from him. He placed his right hand behind her neck, gently stroking her nape with his thumb, before resting it on her exposed thigh.
It had been a week since Mia’s party, and her relationship with Julian was only feeling more and more real. Outside of the close encounter with Erik, Cierra was feeling like nothing was in their way. Julian had even placed a permanent toiletry bag in her apartment; they had been virtually inseparable, outside of the days he inevitably had to attend to his various business meetings or to stay at his own place for convenience, the way anyone would.
“I love these shorts,” he said, with his creased eyes focused on the two-lane highway. Now, a few hours outside of New York City, the sides of the roads had transitioned from industrial plants and billboards to lush forests. The sun was just beginning to set, making the greens of the woods pop against the rose-gold sky.
“Oh yeah? Just the shorts?”
“Mm-hmm,” Julian said as he lightly pinched her soft skin. When Cierra tried to swat his hand away, the right corner of his mouth curved upward.
“Hey, how’s the application coming along, by the way? For that Bravo show, right?”
“No, the Food Network.” Cierra shifted in the passenger seat and rolled up the window. “And I’m not sure, still haven’t heard from them yet.”
“Did they say when they were gonna get back to you?”
“They said we’d hear by August 20th, if we were selected.”
“Ah, okay.” The date she was supposed to have had an answer was, well, yesterday. “It’s normal for people to go over deadlines, though. Who knows, maybe you’ll get an email over the weekend. Could be they have way more applications than they were expecting.”
“You’re sweet,” she said, her voice in a low, emotionless register. Now that her contract with the Lawsons was almost complete, Cierra had found herself thinking more and more about the future.
“Besides, I’d never even heard of the show. What you should be looking for are streaming opportunities or trying to do more than just internet videos. Have you thought about how you’re gonna monetize long-term?”
Now, Cierra straightened up. Julian placed his right hand back on the wheel during her readjustment.
“I don’t think about it like that, I guess,” she said in a small voice.
“Sorry, that came out wrong. What I meant was that, I don’t know, I just don’t see how being a private chef is going to be sustainable. You’re young now, you don’t have real responsibilities, but soon you will. Being on call is gonna get old soon. And being on socials — again, it’s great for now — but doyou really want to be posting regular videos of yourself for years on end? I’m just thinking about your future.”
With only seven years between them, issues like this rarely came up. But the way he was talking to her right now made her feel like she was his misguided niece — not his girlfriend. Furthermore, she resented that some points he brought up were valid. When she first took the position with the Lawsons, she was desperate, and her primary goal was staying afloat. And while she was no longer in dire straits, she had wondered about the long-term. She was thirty, and her priorities were shifting. Making enough to pay rent and go out once a week wasn’t enough anymore. She wanted savings: enough to think about maybe buying a house in the next decade or traveling internationally by herself without putting it all on a credit card. She wantedbenefits. Also, she wanted more control over her time. This time next year, she wanted to be in a backyard somewhere playing with her soon-to-be niece or nephew. More weekends with her mom. And while she got what she needed out of the job this summer, she knew that if she kept on this path she’d end up with the same problems.
She’d given it an honest run: going after her culinary aspirations, changing her career, busting her ass for her dream of having a spot onPlated.But she had other dreams, too. And part of getting older, and realizing what her personal priorities were, meant acknowledging when it was time for her to say,I gave it all I got. She didn’t want to let her dreams ruin all the other realities that made her life worth living. Zelda’s ‘dream job’ made her a nervous wreck half the time, and she hadn’t had a day off in years. Erik’s ‘dream job’ had fired him, and now he was happier than he could have imagined doing something completely different. Dreams could deceive, but dreams could also change.
“Cee?” Julian asked, pulling Cierra back to the present.
“They’re more than cute videos. It’s how I get business. It’s how I got the opportunity to apply forPlatedin the first place,” she replied defensively.
Julian exhaled and turned left onto an unpaved rural road, leading deeper into the forest. “Listen, I’m not coming for you. Can we start over? I’m sorry for how that came out. You know I think your job is great.”
“It’s fine, not a big deal,” she said softly. “Sorry, I have other things on my mind. Just, um, a little in my head about this application I think. Thanks for apologizing.”
